Ask Sis Dolly: Is it my child?

By Drum Digital
08 July 2016

I was her side-man as she was seeing both of us at the same time, she then became pregnant a year ago and said she didn’t know who the father is

I’m a 23-year-old student who met a girl when she was dating someone else.

I was her side-man as she was seeing both of us at the same time. She then became pregnant a year ago and said she didn’t know who the father is.

From the photos she has sent me, I think the child resembles me, and my friends agree.

She never told her boyfriend about our affair so he thinks the child is his, and so do her parents.

I want to do DNA tests but can’t afford it. If the child is mine, I’d like to be involved and take care of it.

I only have contact with her on Facebook because she says she lost her phone, and she lives in Joburg, while I’m in Cape Town.

What should I do?

Sis Dolly answers

Firstly, let me commend you for wanting to do right by the child.

According to Section 21 of the Children’s Act No. 38 of 2005, you have every right as an unmarried father to care for and contact the child if it is yours.

You need to get the truth from the girl about the child’s paternity.

If she’s not willing, you can go to your nearest Family Court for assistance. They can even order a paternity test on your behalf so you can know whether the child is yours once and for all.

You can also seek assistance from an organisation called Dads in the Picture.

Send them an e-mail at info@, visit their website at or contact Sonke Gender Justice on 011-339-3589 or 021-423-7088, or visit

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