Bra Mo blog: Milestones in a Man’s life

By Drum Digital
12 August 2013

It is often said that “life is not measured by the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away”.

As a young man who turns 30 this year, months a number of thoughts have been bubbling inside my head these last couple of months. If, by the grace of God, I’m still alive in 50 years’ time and I look back, what would bring a smile to my face and make me realise that I’ve lived a full life?

After my father’s passing, I went through his personal documents and pictures and it dawned on me that my “old man” had lived a full rich life, and his documents were a reminder of all the things he told me.

Sure, he never had enough money, but you’d never think that because he didn’t complain about it. In fact, he rarely complained. As I browsed through the faded black and white pictures, the numerous educational certificates, letters and correspondence, I realised we’ll have an inevitable end, even though our paths can be very different.

This made me think about what every man should strive to achieve and hopefully see when they look back into the past.

These are the milestones, I believe, a man has to go through or archive:

1.    You see your father as a man: He is complete with flaws and unfulfilled dreams. You learn from him, try not to repeat his mistakes, but embrace his humility and wisdom.

2.    Your first pay-check: It gave you two feelings. Firstly, that from now on, anything is possible, and secondly, “this is not enough moolah”. Both fuelled your ambition to earn more zeroes.

3.    The first time you dump a girl: It took a lot of guts to do it, but it made you stronger.

4.    The first time you are dumbed by a girl and it hurt: You thought she was the one and when she walked away and didn’t return your calls the pain never went away. It didn’t matter how much you tried to replace her with other girls, they just never stacked up.

5.    The first time you are in a fight and win. Who knew that Thabo from the other side of the road had the ability to renew your power on the spot? He tried to punch, you simply blocked, got him in the chest and he ran home crying.

6.    You buy your first house or car: You got tired of the verbally abusive taxi drivers and promised yourself that when you had that deposit it would go to a small skorokoro. And when they hand you the keys of your house. You got down on your knees and thanked God.

7.    You ask the woman you love to marry you: A man’s life is not complete without his partner. You are amazed when she says “yes” and doesn’t mind spending the rest of her life with someone like you.

8.    You change a nappy. Lots of them.Funnily enough it doesn’t feel as yucky as you imagined it would be.

9.     Teaching your child to drive: It is universal. Dads are the ones to coach their children during first spins behind the wheel. 

10. Walk your daughter down the aisle: You have instilled as much discipline and love as you could and now it’s time to let her go. It will probably be the hardest thing you have to do.

Find Love!