Bra Mo – friendships for Life

By Drum Digital
24 March 2014

Can your friends take care of your funeral arrangements when you have passed on?

RECENTLY, my sister’s friend passed away.

It is always sad when people you hold dear in your heart die.

And even more so when you realize how much faith they had in your relationship with them.

This friend had gone through a very tough time in recent years. When he passed on, his friends went to the family home and were informed that before his passing he had said that they (the family) needn't worry about his funeral because his friends would take care of it.

I'm reminded of the passing of my own mother who never regained consciousness after a heart operation.

A couple of days before her passing we called her group of close friends to inform them that things were not looking positive. On the day she died, her friends were at the hospital. They had flown into the city to see her and be with her. They were therefore able to say their final farewell. These two situations got me thinking about friendships. Thinking about how we form relationships with others and how unshakeable these bonds are when it comes to truly critical and crucial incidents.

Can you say with conviction that, if you’re unable to leave any plan in place before you die, that there are people in your life who are not immediate family, but more part of your family of friends who will take care of it for you even though you never discussed this with them?

And the key word in this question is “conviction”.

Can you say that when you’re possibly on your last legs that you have such close friends who would drop everything and journey to be by your side regardless of whether they think this will be the final farewell or whether they simply want to be there for you?

I guess I don’t really have the recipe or the answer. And I wish for everyone the kind of friendship that I’ve talked about.

I wish that we all have at least one person who would drop everything to come and see you because you are important to them. Not because you are a partner or parent, child or sibling, but because you’ve made the effort in your life to cultivate a solid friendship outside of your immediate family.

The kind of friend who will tell you when you mess up, celebrate all your achievements and who, regardless of how much time passes between points of contact, you can pick up exactly where you left off.

I believe we all need relationships outside of our intimate and family relationships. And we all need to have the conviction that there are people that “have your back” no matter what the context or situation.

What you always need to remember is that 50% of that conviction and effort for building the relationship comes from you.

Remember to give of yourself in order to receive that gift of friendship from another. And never perceive any relationship as a trade off for another relationship. Take the time to build solid relationships based on love.

Find Love!