He cheated, should I leave him?

By Drum Digital
06 January 2014

After 20 years of marriage you suddenly discover your husband is fooling around.

One can only imagine your pain, especially as you’ve been loyal and trusting for decades.

The thing is, everyone makes mistakes and men, especially those heading for middle age, seem to make the most foolish ones.

Not defending what he has done, but before you rush into a decision and decide to end a marriage, ask yourself if you can forgive him this one indiscretion and move on. It will be hard: he will have to show you in no uncertain terms that marriage work and he will have to rebuild what he has broken.

This includes giving you an assurance the affair is over, being there for you, phoning you if he’s running late, being attentive and considerate, so that you can learn to trust him again.

If this is the first time he’s had his hand in the cookie jar, then give him another chance. Why throw away 20 years? But if he is not repentant and showing remorse, then you might well have to take steps to save your sanity and self-esteem.

I suggest you go for professional counselling, with your husband and on your own to resolve the problem.

- Sis Dolly

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