'Paternity unknown'

By Drum Digital
22 April 2014

My husband's mistress wont take a paternity test

Anonymous asks: My husband of nine years had an affair with a young girl and might have made her pregnant. I knew about her and warned her about the dangers of sleeping with a married man. She ignored me saying she needed the financial support. My husband at first denied being the father then wanted a paternity test. I work at a lab and arranged for the test to be done but the girl didn’t pitch up. Her excuse was that I work there. So the court arranged for another lab to do the blood test and again she didn’t appear. Then she opened a maintenance case against him. In court he told the magistrate she failed to pitch for the paternity test. How can we move on when this girl seems intent on ruining our lives?

Sis Dolly answers:

I suggest you leave the matter in the hands of the courts. The magistrate will assess the case fairly and the girl will eventually be ordered to have blood tests done, especially if she wants to prove your husband fathered her baby. All you need to do is stay calm and let the courts do their work. We can only speculate why she’s avoiding the paternity test. What’s more important, though, is how you feel about your husband cheating on you – and with a young girl at that. Have you worked through your feelings of anger and betrayal? Have you forgiven him? It’s no use pretending she’s the cause of all the trouble in your life when your husband is the one who betrayed you. Let him deal with this girl’s antics and the courts. It’s a bed he made and he must lie in it.

But I suggest that if you’re interested in saving your marriage you go for couple counselling so you can heal your relationship and move on. Contact your nearest Family and Marriage Association of SA (011-975-7106/7) for advice and an appointment

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