The ultimate cellphone 6/6

By Drum Digital
14 May 2014

Zandile finally has a new phone, the world’s very first theft-proof model.

“Is that your new phone?” Thuli gasped as Zandile walked into the office with her latest purchase. And it had turned quite a few heads on her way to work. Dineo and Vickie hurried over from their desks to see the new cellphone for themselves. They stopped in their tracks, astonished at the sight of it lying on Zandile’s desk. “Zandi,” Vickie breathed, unable to take her eyes off it. Thuli seemed afraid to touch it.

“I didn’t know they still made those,” Dineo said.

“They don’t,” Zandile said. “But you can still buy a brick if you know where to look.” She looked affectionately at her “brick”.

It was about the size of a Grade 9 child’s school shoe, and almost as scuffed. At it’s top end was a 10 cm long wire aerial with a big black bead on the tip. The keys were big and round, almost the size of the ones found on a laptop. The brick was protected by a thick black leather case with holes pierced all over it.

“Why?” Thuli, finding her voice at last, asked. “Who’d want to own that thing?”

“Tell me somebody paid you to get it,” Dineo implored.

“It can be the only sensible reason for your having it.”

Zandile grinned. “Girls, it was so cheap – just unbelievable.”

“What’s unbelievable is that you bought it in the first place,” Thuli declared. “You actually paid for that?”

“And the reception on these things is incredible,” Zandile said. “They just don’t make phones like they used to!”

Vickie was at a loss. “What functions does it have?”

“Two! Zandile informed her. “The necessary ones – I can call you and you can call me.”

“It must be heavy,” Vicky observed.

“Yes – and that’s one of its best security features,” boasted Zandile. Then, succumbing to fits of laughter, she slapped her thigh and said, “This is a weapon. With this thing in my hand, I’m armed and dangerous! Imagine the damage I could do to a thief’s face with my brick!”

Her friends finally understood as Zandile carried on. “No rotten little skabenga in his right mind would even think about bothering to steal my brick. Ladies, let me present to you the ultimate cellphone – the world’s very first theft-proof model!


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