What do you think: Lying to your kids

By Drum Digital
22 September 2014

We recently asked our Facebook SuperMoms if they ever lied to their kids to protect them and in which cases do they think it's okay. Here’s their response...

We recently asked our Facebook SuperMoms if they ever lied to their kids to protect them and in which cases do they think it's okay. Here’s their response...

What SuperMoms think:

Chene Sharp – I don’t think you should lie, but must make the rough world as “soft” as possible for their innocence. Your child is the example you set. If there are parents who are struggling with teenagers who lie...they have to think back about everything they ever lied about.

Nelmarie Matthee - Parents lie to their children about the tooth fairy and vegetables that give good eyes. What stops them from lying about bigger things?

Maryke Symington - No matter what – we shouldn’t lie to our kids.

Denise Edwards Oosthuizen-  I don’t lie to my children!

Should you lie to your kids?

Lying is wrong. That's what we tell them of course. But let's be honest, all parents lie to their kids at some point or another.

Whether you lie to protect your child's innocence, to get your kids to do something or to get a little "me time", you're just trying to make parenthood a little easier.

Some lies are justifiable. Others are less so.Whatever the situation and justification, lying among parents is, it seems, the norm. A new study published in the International Journal of Psychology says 84 percent of parents lie to kids to get them to behave better.

But here’s 3 reasons why you shouldn’t lie to your kids:

It's bad tactics.  First of all, it erodes your trust capital. Once your kids discover that you were actively lying to them, how much do you think they'll trust you? Some kids are unaffected, but many trust their parents less.

It's just morally wrong. Just because someone is gullible is no reason to lie to them, and children have a right not to be deceived like everyone else.

It's selfish. That's the biggest reason. Despite their protestations to the contrary, parents don't do it for the benefit of the children. They do it for their own benefit.

How to tell your child the truth

-        Timing is everything. Make sure that your child isn’t dealing with another terrible stress.

-        Say it with love. Telling the truth by showing love and emotion will let your child understand beter and will leave them feeling loved. They might show anger at first, but when the cloud of anger fades, they might have truly heard what you meant to say.

-        Get straight to the point. Don’t beat around the bush and talk about a lot of other things first. The child will perceive from you that something’s wrong.

-        Ask for help. Ask your husband or a family member to help you. It might help you communicate easier and for your child to understand the situation better.

-        Gather your facts.The more facts you gather the better you can see clearly through the storm of lies. The more facts you have the better you can prove your point.

-        Allow your child to ask questions. This is how we come to terms with and better understand a painful reality. So answer each and every one as best you can.

-        Janine Nel

Sources: parenting.com, huffingtonpost.com, circleofmoms.com, lifehacker.com

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