'Twas the night before voting
The Night Before Voting...
'Twas the night before voting, and all through the house
Not an advert was screened of Jacob the louse;
The ballots were ready, all packed with care,
Everyone hoped it would be free and fair
The voters were sleeping, warm in their beds
With visions of change filling their heads.
I'd just finished reading and had a night-cap
Hoping to drown out all of this crap.
When out in the street arouse such a clatter
I sprang from my seat to see what was the matter.
Grabbing my shotgun I ran like a flash
I called ADT, they'd be here in a dash!
The first thought to mind was "kak wat nou"
When I glanced out the window and saw them below
There to my wonder what did appear,
It made me just want to reach for a beer!
With a loudspeaker and posters, driving quite quick
I saw that bus and knew it was zuma - that prick
Faster than miners to a strike they came,
He danced and sang and called them by name;
Now, singing and shouting "umShini Shini wam",
Look at him dance and wiggle that bum!
The bus hit a Porsche and then hit the wall
Look at that shit, it didn't fase them at all!
JZ leaned out, said "Mac I said we should fly"
"I'll say I know nothing, I don't know why"
So off to the neighbors with flyers they flew
Screaming "vote Jacob, vote jacob" some other crap too.
And through my earmuffs, I heard on the roof
A scuffle a shuffle i'm telling the truth!
I pointed the shotgun at the source of the sound
He fell down the chimney as I chambered a round.
A bloody campaigner all covered in soot!
I ignored his "vote jacob"s and gave him the boot!
Photos of JZ and nKandla fell from his pack -
I kicked him in the ass shouting "and don't come back!"
I shoved him out of the door - ok more of a throw.
How he could run so fast - I just don't know.
Mac came running, flashing his teeth,
I said "say one word, and you'll need a wreath"
There in the road, I knew that fat belly!
Smiling and dancing he wobbled like jelly.
He danced and danced and looked like an elf
I started to laugh, couldn't help myself.
"Vote for me" then you can go - right back to bed
I gave him the finger and just shook my head
He spoke not a word, just went on with his work
Waking up neighbours, the loud mouthed jerk.
Singing "wena this Nkandla thing that arose"
"Look at me I still smell like a rose"
Sheik pulled in with a bright new bus, and gave a loud shout.
Off went the whole pose led by that lout
As he drove off he waved and pulled out of sight
I went back to my bed - man what a night!
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