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10 things that will drive your man away

By Faeza
01 December 2016

Confused from Mpumalanga writes:

I am always wary of speaking on behalf of all men, but I will gladly share one man’s perspective, based on past experience and perhaps add opinions that I have heard from other people on this matter. Let me hasten to add that most of the things on my list are things that everybody, male or female, has complained about at some point:

WHAT qualities do men hate in a woman. I am in a new relationship and for once,

I have decided to do things differently. I have always blamed all my exes for all my previous breakups. But I am thinking, let me do some introspection. Maybe I might have been responsible for some of the problems in my past relationships. So I am trying to work on a clean slate. And I’d like to get a feel of things that annoy men, maybe see if I may be guilty of any of them. Can I please get the male perspective?

Linda Yende responds:

FIRST of all, I would like to commend you for doing something most of us, male or female, very rarely do. Most people walk around blaming each and every one of their exes for all their break ups. So, I am glad that you are willing to admit that maybe you are not perfect

? The trouble makers and drama queens

Most people get annoyed when a partner cannot let go of the things they do not like. Nobody likes a partner who tries to solve problems by arguing about every single thing, and it is much worse if they argue about it in front of everyone. The dramatic people love to create a storm in a tea cup. Everything is a crisis or an emergency.

? The jealous type

Among the worst complaints are against those partners who are almost neurotically untrusting. If your partner has never given you reason to doubt them; stop doubting them. Often these people do not think they are worthy of their companions. They always question themselves and are constantly afraid that their partners will find better and more deserving replacements for them. They can also be emotionally dependent and

become a burden. They do not understand that their partners need to have some personal time.

? The yellers

There is absolutely nothing more annoying than a partner who always feels the need to raise their voice about every issue. Only raise your voice when the situation absolutely calls for it.

? The fault finder

This is the type of person who finds faults in everything. Nothing is the way they want it. Ever! They believe that if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.

Because nobody else can. You know the kind of people that even get annoyed when they see you smile. What is worse is that you end up being afraid to be yourself around

them, especially when out in public, because there will be a court case on the way home about how you were embarrassing them.

? The Madonnas

These people do not like the fact that their partners have freedom of choice. They also think that their partners do not possess the maturity to make the right decisions. They act as if they are your parent.

? The indecisive

General indecisiveness, even after you have entered into the relationship, always keeps you in limbo as you never know where you stand with the person. They are noncommittal and chronic fence sitters.

? The subjective

These are the people with the inability to be direct or state what they want. Not only do they hope that the partner will guess what they are thinking, they hope that you somehow decipher the “woman code”, which is given through looks, small gestures, a nose scratch or any other similar signs. Yes, women are the most guilty in this area.

? The digger

Believe it or not, these do e xist in male and female guise. These are the people who think

more about the things (material, status, power) that they can obtain b y relating with a per son, than the type of person he is. You know the kind of women like to fish for attention at whatever cost, including being revealing in their attire.

? The sloppy

You know the effort you used to put into your appearance before you settled down? Keep

putting it in after settling down. Look good. Be attentive to your grooming. The same effort you would put in if you broke up with him and had to meet someone new.

? The liars

They do not like to do things openly and do not feel comfortable exposing the truth. They prefer to omit a fact or two to telling the truth.