Cell phone drama part1

By admin
16 October 2013

Cell phones can become the “third party” in your love life. Don’t let it ring you out of a relationship. Set the rules.

Mmamokhethi Ramonngana says “I have a serious problem with my boyfriend. We fight because he answers my cell phone and reads my messages. Bongiwe Mngadi, a clinical psychologist in Durban, answers.

Is it okay for Mmamokhethi’s boyfriend to answer and check messages on her phone?

It is not a matter of right or wrong. Every relationship has ground rules. These are rules that are either said out loud or are an understanding between two people. If answering each other’s cell phone was once acceptable and neither had a problem with it (even if it was not discussed openly as a set rule), then any change in that understanding will affect the relationship

What are the implications or consequences for their relationship if she allows her boyfriend to continue answering her phone against her will?

You can just sense the helplessness in her question. Mmamokhethi appears to be the victim. However, she can do something about it – that is the difference. If anyone continuesto live in a situation that they don’t like, they will be unhappy; therefore, they are choosing to be unhappy. First understand that there are always options and then find out what those options are.

Why would her boyfriend feel the need to answer her phone?

The boyfriend sounds typically insecure. When people lose their sense of control in a relationship, they often try to enforce control, as he is doing, in order to deal with the feeling of insecurity. If he feels he has control over what threatens him, he will be able to deal more easily with the insecurity.