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Having a fuller figured body doesn’t mean your sex life needs to be dull

By Faeza
03 March 2017

IF you’ve got curves, flaunt them. This should certainly apply in the bedroom. Often, fuller

figured women feel shy about their bodies – you might think you have too much cellulite,

that having a mkhaba means you cannot dress sexy and that the only way to get down is under the covers and when the lights are off.


Anele Zulu* (34) has always been a fuller figured woman and even when she lost weight, her body remained full. “When I was younger, I used to be shy about my body. Like a lot of

women, I was conscious of my stretch marks and cellulite and found them very unattractive. This affected how I behaved in the bedroom; the lights had to be off and I would never walk around naked in front of my partner.”


Anele says when it came to her body and sex, she always found a reason to be shy. “If it was not being insecure about my underwear that’s made for fuller figures, then it was thinking that I could not enjoy any sex positions other than missionary.” She points out that the turning point was when she gained confidence. “I just thought, ‘well, you

are not about to stop being fully figured so you need to start loving and appreciating your body’,” she says, adding that her now husband also helped overcome her shyness.

“He helped me understand that he did not judge my curves or think my cellulite and stretch marks were unsexy. He simply loved my body, and wanted to enjoy it. At first, I was shy to do things his way, but I started building my body confidence little by little, now I refuse to do it with the lights off.”


Anele's husband, Banele*, says women with curves need to remember that some men find woman with fuller figures irresistible. “No man approaches a fuller figured women and gets into a relationship with them expecting that their body will suddenly change when they get to bed,” he says. “He asked you out because you are his size, so to speak, so women need to stop being self-conscious or thinking that the only way a woman can

be sexy is if she looks like a typical model.” This is a sentiment echoed by sex expert, Abiola Abrams. “Be willing to let go of those old insecurities. Your worth is not attached to your body size," she advises.


No matter what size or shape you are, when it comes to a couple’s sex life, the key is always

communication, aiming to please, understanding each other’s bodies and keeping things spicy. Nowadays, underwear for fuller figured women have become sexy, with brands that cater exclusively to plus size women. Try something that has a flowing camisole.


Abiola also suggests sex positions that won’t make you feel awkward. “Sitting up on the kitchen counter will give you great balance and control, then your man can enter you from the front. You can also lie on your side with your knees bent. You can use pillows if you

need extra support. He can enter from the back or the front. This can bring you both great pleasure. The doggie style is also great if your knees are up for it,” she says.

*Not their real names