Follow us on:

How to get back with your ex: 7 Tips to try

By Faeza
01 June 2016

You say something, he says something, one thing leads to another and the next thing you know is you’ve broken up. Then comes a phase when you start realising how things went south and how badly you want him back.

So how do you go about it? What do you do to get him back? Can you even be sure that he wants to get back with you? The answer to this depends on the magnitude and reason behind the fight. But what to do to get him back? Here's help:

1. Reason(s)

The most important thing after a break-up is to ponder over why you really broke up. Break-ups never happen overnight. There are always a zillion reasons that lead to the day when you finally decide to call it quits.

So think about the first day when things began to look bad. Think about the times when you snapped at each other and why. This is not an easy process; it will take time, but at the end you will realise what drove you apart.

2. After effects

If you didn’t break up with mutual consent, then there must have been some drama and fight in the moment. Break-ups are usually forgivable, but what people never forget is how you treated them while dumping them or while being dumped. In the heat of the moment you two may have said some nasty things to each other. So think about that and add that to the list of things to apologise for, if you know you’re at fault.

3. Space

If you start hounding him to take you back after the break-up then you can come across as really desperate and it does not look pretty! Understand that just like you, he too is dealing with the break-up and therefore needs some space to cope with it.

Give him some time off and take some time for yourself too. Also, absence makes the heart grow fonder! So give him time to miss you too.

4. Introspect

While you’re taking time off, think about the shortcomings in you and your behaviour and work towards improving them. If things turned sour in your relationship, then there must have been things that started to look annoying or may be even unbearable to him. Work on those and make yourself a better person. I’m not saying that you should change yourself for him, but only make yourself a better version of who you are.

5. Contact

When you do get back in touch with him and tell him that you need him back in your life, make it sound like a genuine thing, but never beg!

Apologise for things that you did wrong, but never say things like "I’ll do whatever you want me to do, but please be mine again!"

Hold your head high and be a confident person. Show him that you truly love him and are trying your best. Seeing you needy and desperate might push him further away.

6. Socialise

Don’t lock yourself in your room after the break-up. Be social and know that you have a life and just because he isn't in it anymore doesn’t mean that things for you are over.

Two things will happen: you’ll stay positive, and he'll see you as a positive and attractive person. Just seeing someone take control of their lives after a devastating moment can turn out to be hugely attractive.

7. Talk

Talking usually helps solve most problems. Talk to him about how you both made mistakes and how you realise where you went wrong. Tell him about the things you are willing to do to make things work again. It can be anything, even something as simple as being more attentive or more sensitive. Tell him what you expect from him and what problems you faced in the relationship.

The point is that relationships are never easy. They can get complicated due to the different personalities of the people involved. But things can often be fixed with the help of a few techniques that involve introspection and changing your habits.

read more here