I want to have kids of my own

By admin
05 October 2013

  “My husband and I have been using condoms for five years. He is 50 years and I am 38. I want to have a child because I don’t have one of my own. My husband has three children from a previous marriage. When I ask him about us conceiving, he says he is not ready, because he is not working. Dr Eve, I feel I’m getting older and can’t postpone pregnancy any longer. Do you think it is wise to wait? Will using condoms have any long-term effects?” – Duduza, Nigel   Move! Expert advice

This is indeed a difficult situation for both of you. Your husband is practical and making an understandable and very responsible choice: kids cost money. He doesn’t earn any money, so no more kids. He’s right, of course. But I hear your voice too: you want a baby and you are right in that time is ticking by. The issue of bringing a child into this marriage needs lots more discussion with your husband. A child can break your marriage if your husband does not want the child, and not having a child can make you so angry with him that the marriage can break from your anger.

Ideally, a child should be planned, very much wanted by both parents, and both parents must be willing to raise the child together. Otherwise it is very unfair to the child. Come up with good solutions and possibilities for having a child and present them to your husband. Talk, talk, talk.There are no bad side effects to using the condom. Condoms do not make women infertile. You can continue using them safely.