Is getting money out of a relationship wrong? Part1

By admin
02 October 2013

Thenjiwe Dlozi of Mpumalanga is in relationships with three men. They pay my rent and buy clothes for me and my child.” She says the one man is not shy to give her money, while the other always provides transport for month-end shopping and he also transports her grandmother on pension payday. Thenjiwe is unemployed and says that not having money frustrates her.

Move! asked psychologist Kwezi Nyewe for advice.

Thenjiwe is involved in two relationships for financial gain. Is there anything wrong with this?

Although she may justify her action, she is actually creating a cycle of dependence. She will struggle to take control of her life. If she is not using condoms with these men, she is exposing herself to HIV and other sexually transmitted infections. If a woman has multiple partners, her risk of cervical cancer is much higher than among women who do not have multiple partners and who did not engage in sexual relations at an early age.

Is there anything wrong with trading love or sex for money?

It depends on her morals and her judgement of right and wrong. She is not only cheating herself but also those she is involved with. She must ask herself whether she would like to be treated in the manner that she is treating these men. She also doesn’t have much power in these relationships. She cannot, for example, negotiate how these men should treat her. This could lead to abuse and sense of powerlessness on her part.