What can I do?

By admin
08 November 2013

“I have been a single mother of three for a long time. In the last two years I met a married man who is good to me. He tries to be a father to my children when he is around, but my children just will not accept him. I have been trying for a long time to make my children understand that I need a partner in my life, someone to take care of me even if it is only temporarily. They always tell me that they do not need a second daddy. I am really worried. I want to please both parties. What can I do?” – Siphokazi, Khayelitsha

Dear Siphokazi,

I really feel for you because I know it is not easy to lose someone you love. However, we are talking about your children, your blood. Why are your children against this affair and what do they mean by do not need a second daddy? There is more to this. I suggest you talk to them about this matter and be as open as possible.

If they are in their teens, or if your first partner was abusive, I doubt if they will accept this. Children are very possessive of their mothers, so you need to be very careful in the way you approach them about your relationship with this man. They might not take your word. However, they are your blood and I doubt if you will want to lose your blood for a married man. If he is married, is he in a position to take care of you and your children? Does he have children of his own? This is a tough decision, but your family will always be there for you and I don’t think this man is worth it.