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What to do when you find out your boyfriend is cheating on you with another man

By Faeza
16 March 2017

Anonymous from Joburg writes:

I am a 38-year-old woman and I have been married for 11 years. My husband and I have two daughters and our marriage was fine until I started noticing something very disturbing about him. I think my husband is having an affair with his male best friend. One day I walked in on them holding each other tight and when I confronted him about

it, he got very defensive. They have been spending a lot of time together and even go on trips together, which never include me or anyone else. He comes home late and he hardly touches or even compliments me. I think my husband is sleeping with his friend, should I confront him?

Move Expert responds:

Khulani Desmond Gxiba, a social worker based in East London, Eastern Cape, says, “It is clear that the situation you are faced with is painful. You need to speak with your partner in a very humble manner in order for you to discover what exactly is going on. You need to prepare your heart for any type of truth he might tell you. Once you feel that you are ready for your husband to provide you with clarity, then you can ask him about your concerns.

You need to also reassure him that you will not judge him because what you need at this point is clarity more than a fight. Speak from the heart so that your husband understands the points you are trying to make. If your talk does not come up with clear solutions, ask him that the two of you talk to a professional, who will be neutral on the matter.