When we make love, he calls out his former girlfriend’s name

By admin
20 December 2013

“I met my boyfriend at a party and everything started out very well. However, when I went to his place, pictures of his former girlfriend were hanging on the wall. When I asked him about them, he said that they share a history and he cannot just get over her. Okay, I made peace with that. Secondly, when we make love, he always calls out his former girlfriend’s name. I feel I am being used and disrespected. Must I leave him to fantasies in his own world without me? Please help.” – Matilda, Jabavu

Dr Eve says

Your boyfriend has bad bedroom manners. He is breaking all rules of “good lover behaviour”. One does not keep photos of an ex on display neither does one call out her or his name during sexual play. You have every right to be angry about this. You should not make peace with this situation. You know why? Because then you make peace with the other little things he does and one day you will wake up to find that all the little things have become one big piece that covers your heart in pain, anger and shame.

Whenever a woman, like you, feels “used and disrespected” she must let her man know she feels this way. If he cares and wants a relationship, he will make the necessary changes. If he ignores her requests, she should move on. Let him mourn and grieve the loss of his last relationship before forming a new relationship with anyone. That’s respectful to everyone.