When your side chick tells you that her child is actually yours after three years

By Faeza
11 July 2016

Cedric Nyambane* tells us how his makwapheni initially told him that her child is not his, and changed her tune three years later.

I MET this woman in a club and we began dating. She told me that she was in a relationship but I didn’t mind because I was also seeing someone else. We agreed that we would keep our relationship hidden from our respective partners. However, we did not immediately become sexually intimate.


One day after attending a party together, this woman decided to go home with me instead of going back to her boyfriend. Against our best intentions, we somehow ended up having unprotected sex. After three months, she told me she was pregnant and that it was her boyfriend’s child. I asked her how sure she was that the child was not mine, and she insisted she was sure. She also said she was leaving me because her man was planning to pay lobola for her. She blocked me from her social media accounts and changed her cellphone number.


Indeed, her boyfriend paid lobola for her and they moved in together. Shortly after that, they got married in a traditional ceremony. But three years into her marriage, she called me and told me that she had made a mistake. She told me the child was mine, and that she had already told the parents and her husband the truth. When I asked her how she knew for sure that the child was mine, she said one day she was travelling in a taxi when a total stranger told her to reveal the true paternity of the child. The stranger also said said the child had health problems because she was not telling the truth about who the real father is.


When she first told her husband that the child was not his, he asked her not to tell me and his family about it. She told me that she had tried to hide the truth from me, but her conscience was killing her. After she told me that the child was mine, her husband began distancing himself from her. He was hurt and angry that she had told me the truth.


I have forgiven her for denying me the chance to raise the child for three years, but I’m not sure whether to accept the child or not. I have a lot of questions on my mind. Why is she singing a different tune now? Is it because she wants me back? Or is she looking for a shoulder to cry on because her marriage is not working out? I don’t know what to believe anymore. *Not his real name