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The Last Contrarian
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Analysing Apocalypse Obsession

24 December 2012, 09:28

Personally, I find few things in life are as exhilarating as repeatedly being vindicated against the ignorant masses, and doomsday predictions add a nice fat wedge to the pie chart that holds the statistics of my ongoing victories against the stupid, the faithful, and the impressionable.

I’d like to start this article off by making it clear that I am not writing this piece in the uplifting mania that penetrates the mind of one who has narrowly escaped death (or an apocalypse). I actually debunked the Mayan 2012 Prophecy months ago in preparation for this follow-up article that would analyse the aftermath in an attempt to make sense of it all and perhaps give answers to those who may now be filled with questions and disappointment.

Making sense of it all

I’m a very outspoken critic of faith for reasons which are plainly clear in many of my articles here on News24. The younger me spent his hours trapped in the intellectual concentration camp known as ‘faith.’ I have conquered faith (the complete acceptance of a claim without any verification of its accuracy), but not belief, because I think belief is essential to human consciousness and something without which we would not be able to feel our way around the intellectual darkness into which we are born. We all believe in something, but what is important is not what we believe, but why we believe it.

I didn’t believe in the Mayan 2012 Doomsday prediction, and I can give a full account of why I am suspicious of every claim I’ve heard about this particular culture. Let me point out and explain the scattered elements that all culminated into this Mayan 2012 Doomsday hoax, the most elaborate and farthest reaching of all doomsday predictions!

I want to believe

‘I want to believe’ is a line made famous by the megahit Television series of the 1990’s The X-Files. By the way, I grew up on The X-Files and The Outer Limits and these shows really helped to expand my adolescent mind to think beyond the mundane terrestrial existence to which it is shackled. ‘I want to believe’ is one of the few expressed desires that instantly transmogrifies into reality, because if you want to believe in something, you do! It really is that simple!

There is, however, a chasmic divide between a reasonable belief and a wishful belief (faith). The terror component of doomsday prophecies is the grain of reason for the believer’s explanation: it’s not that they want to believe they are going to die, so that makes their belief stand up to any suspicion of insincerity. Nobody wants to believe the world is ending, but I dare say that is an errant statement! With every day that I persist, I see religious people plucking the reeds and forging the shackels that will later strike their backs and chain them to the dungeon wall of religion.

To be religious is to be obsessed with the demise of planet earth and the extinction, judgement, and punishment/reward of the Homo Sapien species. This is why the NASA scientists who tried to calm people’s fears were so mercilessly attacked and discredited in online videos, articles, and polls. Nothing an educated person at the top of their field has to say can dissuade the mind of the faithful when on the horizon looms the imminent satisfaction of global death and destruction!

Devolution replaces evolution

The people who extract these predictions and prophecies are the ones who firmly believe that humankind is getting dumber and less advanced by the generation. These people always point to the wisdom of advanced societies from centuries now buried under inches of dust. Despite the fact that our modern society is armed with the instruments of knowledge: the radio telescope, the microscope, the computer, the internet, the equations of Newton, Einstein, and Hawking,... we are but bumbling idiots compared to the geniuses of yore with their wooden compasses and bronze protractors, which they used to plot the movement of the stars and planets with unmatched precision!

I doubt there is a person who knows what a Television is who has not seen some ‘civil engineer’ stand at the foot of the great pyramid and proclaim that not even with today’s laser-guided alignment tools can we align a pyramid to some star or constellation in the night sky with equal precision. If our lasers-guided alignment tools cannot help us align a megalithic structure to a flickering point of light in the night sky with the same precision as people with bronze tools and no wheel, then how do they determine just how precisely these ancients structure are actually aligned? Most certainly not with our inept modern-day tools, right?

For those who don’t yet see what I’m getting at, let me explain: An less precise tool cannot measure the accuracy of a more precise tool. What sorcery is this? A pocket calculator cannot calculate PI to the same precision as a NASA supercomputer can, but this is what these ‘civil engineers’ and archeologists want you to believe, that they used our modern day calculators (laser-guided alignment tools) to calculate the far greater precision of an ancient supercomputer (a peg and twine)! Simply put, these professionals are being paid to lie on camera!

Do not think that a four-year degree vanquishes some people’s greed or their weakness to making a quick buck. Credentials count for nothing these days and are somewhat of a banality. There are, after all, Harvard-educated charlatans out there and much of this 2012 nonsense was concocted and promoted by ‘credible, qualified professionals.’

Who got this Mayan apocalypse thing wrong?

Apart from the abovementioned charlatan archeologists and their opinionated professional guests, the following groups got intertwined in the whole Mayan apocalypse debacle and thus need to be named and shamed also:


If the transdimensionally-enlightened, chakra-charging, vibration-obsessed flock of new age, crystal-waving spiritualist is to be believed, then we should all currently be undergoing a stringent lecture by our guardian angels, who awaited our arrival in the 4th dimension so as to prepare us for our imminent and rapidly ascension to the 11th dimension. Leaving the world of séances, ectoplasm, and automatic writing, we soon meet up with another pro-apocalypse group, the christians.

Christians (and other religious perspectives)

It should come as no surprise that this religious group has been proven wrong on all accounts, yet again. The mass of christians who could not resist the urge to see the world and humans go to shit practically abandoned the bible to chase down this spectacular doomsday event. Rational and evidence are not secondary, they are totally unnecessary if the jesus slave believes it will earn them a ride back to heaven with jesus as their chauffer, and the chance to see all their adversaries in life writing in agony in eternal hell.

UFO watchers

One just knows one will have the total support from society’s legally insane, the UFO community. This group loves any event that may see the involvement of or intervention by alien beings in glinting metallic spacecraft. A few of these fine intellects bought one-way tickets to a southwestern village in France where a UFO would supposedly give the interstellar hitchhikers a free ride to safety. No doubt they will go home dejected, but their faith will endure. They will actively seek other avenues where they can experience the crowning jewel of UFO fanaticism, an abduction by aliens and a night spent being probed by steel-cold fingers and shiny metallic instruments.


This group is somewhat new on the scene. Preppers are usually affluent people who have become obsessed with preparing for any disaster (and I do mean any). These people spend a large chunk of their income on gas masks, automatic rifles, stockpiles of food and water, and the radiation proofing of their underground bunkers. Neighbours of these folks can thrill you with tales of how their prepper neighbour just spent $50,000 upgrading his basement to withstand a magsnitude 9.0 earthquake. The world of the preppers contains a thrilling mix of post-apocalyptic fetish and scorn for prevailing governments, socio-economic conditions, and signs that humankind may continue multiplying successfully.


Truthers are the sort of people who believe that not only is there a devil, but that he took over the presidency. To a truther, everything from the mundane to the insane are merely a testament that the government is planning to turn the country (and eventually the world) into a police state. These people don’t so much long for the arrival of an apocalypse as much as they believe they are already living in one, but that did not stop many truthers from latching on to the Mayan 2012 debacle and claiming, yet again, that the government was behind it all. Some truthers were convinced that on 21 December 2012, the NWO (new world order) will finally do a global broadcast announcing that we are all now prisoners of the global government.

I have to add that in the world of truthers, the NWO represents many things, all tied to the government, however. You have Draconians (aliens from who imploded their home world) who meddled with human politics running the whole show behind their fake human bodies. You have the catholic church and its pope as the antichrist which is doing the same thing as the Draconians. You have the wealthy jews in the US which are accused of doing what the Draconians and the catholic church are doing. This has so many parallels to the Mayan apocalypse that one has to, but default, assume it all to be bullshit (without even considering the total lack of evidence on the truthers’ side of the argument).

Environmental Extremists

Some people call them green-peacers, eviro-nazis, or just fanatical environmentalists, but I simply call them for what they are, Prius drivers. There are the people who are trying to convert their lawnmower into a hybrid and their car’s engine to run off water. These salad-munching, ozone-farting,  people have become suicidal in recent years (it’s a pity they don’t act on their impulse). But, oh no, they don’t want to die, they just want the evil earth-rapists to die (pretty much everyone who is not an enviro-nazi), and if rogue planet, asteroid, or alien invasion rids the planet of humankind’s carbon footprint, then, hey, they are all for it!


The word ‘cultist’ can practically function as a synonym for ‘doomsday’ and ‘apocalypse.’ I have yet to see one instance of a cult that did not have some charismatic leader who preached doom and gloom to his sexually exploited and abused followers. Who could forget the heaven’s gate cult that became notorious after they committed a mass suicide at the behest of their leader (Marshall Applewhite) for the stupid reason of joining up in ethereal form with some nearby UFOs? Why did they want to join up with the UFOs? To escape the impending apocalypse on earth! Many other cults in history bunkered themselves in and prepared to fight the hordes of the apocalypse, which often meant a faceoff between authorities and cultists—extinguishing and destroying many lives in the process.

Jane and Joe Public

I don’t consider this group to be insane or stupid, but these people definitely are too busy with the mundane to study and question the inane. These people are just trying to make it to their next paycheck, bonus, or holiday trip. Often times they are paralyzed by lethargy and barely capable of distinguishing illogical nonsense from factual reality. I find it mesmerizing and disturbing to see so many people who can obsess and stress about something yet make absolutely no effort to even read up on the subject that torments them.

Professor Michio Kaku

Professor Kaku took a leave of absence from his scientific faculties starting back in 2010. Professor Kaku has been raving like a lunatic about cataclysmic solar storms that will bring chaos and angst to our GPS-dependent modern world. Professor Kaku is a near perfect example that even a scientifically literate atheist can still fall for a good doomsday prediction. Oh well, if someone can believe in string theory (or invent part of the theory, as professor Kaku did), then nothing is too absurd, inane, or insane for them to believe. I also dislike how the scientific community has allowed Professor Kaku’s to sin without correction. As we know from other groups, when members of our flock misbehave, we all get a bad image for it.

Denial reigns supreme

Whenever an apocalypse fails to materialize, the pompous denial becomes apparent in the aforementioned doomsday flocks. There are still people who are adamant that the world was supposed to end in 2000, but that it obviously did not because their prayers were answered (or the deity of their affection deemed them not ready for heavenly ascension). I will make some predictions about the dragging on of this Mayan apocalypse nonsense.

Leap years

First, ‘experts’ will claim that leap years were not factored in, thus meaning that the Mayan apocalypse is not a fail but merely delayed by a few days. Once New Year comes, the ‘error factor’ will be inflated to a few weeks or even a few months, but rest assure all ye nonbelievers, the end WILL COME!


Failure has a variety of effects on people, but for the hardcore apocalypse-obsessed mind, reinterpretation is a common response to a failocalypse. Armed with new fervor, the decoders, interpreters, analysers, and impressionists will all find their mistakes and then correct them. The Mayan apocalypse may be with us for a few years more as the date of eventuality is pushed into the future. 21 December, 2013 perhaps or 5 July 2016, all are plausible ‘corrections’ and each will be backed up with books, DVDs, seminars, and workshops to warn the gullible flock and rob them of their coin.


The people who dig in the dirt to get ancient artifacts will soon uncover the cypher that will finally allow the doom prophets to understand that the Mayan calendar and its predictions were spot on, but simply the start of something even more horrifying and unbelievable. A new 2 by 4 inch tablet will contain mystical symbols that will show us the date of the actual end. 21 December 2012 was simply the pulling of the trigger, and it sent the hammer hurtling into the shell casing that will release the Armageddon bullet sometime in the not too distant future.


Subsequent to fragmenting, we may also see co-revelation. Some intrepid tourist will take a breather against a wall in the great pyramid and subsequently reveal a new passageway that archaeologist didn’t know about before. Once the length of the passage way is multiplied by the angle of its incline and the result squared, it will reveal a number which, when compared to various artifacts of completely different ancient civilizations who lived in completely different eras, will finally allow scholars to pin doomsday on the calendar.

Actually… it did happen!

Ok, so we did not have the meteors, rogue planets (Niburu), or the NWO, or the third world war, or super volcanoes, or an exploding sun, or earthquakes, or the zombification of the masses, but hey, you have to admit, the last few years leading up to 2013 saw some major changes in the world. Look at the Arab spring, look at all the conflict between nations, look at North Korea’s eventual success in setting off a giant firecracker, successfully…

Denial will make people see correlation where there exists none. It is similar to pareidolia, where people see faces, jesus, code, etc. in random patterns (e.g., T.V. static). For those who want to see revelation there will be an endless amount of corroborating events that point to the fact that something major really did happen—even if it would have happened despite someone digging up a 2000 year old calendar from a Mayan ruin!

Who is really to blame?

The problem with educated people is that they pity the fool instead of correcting him/her. More often than not, the gurus and leaders of said fanatical factions are persecuted but no effort is made to educate the flock who simply watch their leaders being hauled off to jail, and then just bleat in misery until a new Shepard appears to lead their minds to pasture (pronounced, paranoia). Schools, universities, and even the ‘always innocent’ families of tomorrow’s idiotic masses are to blame. We are all born stupid, gullible, and ready to believe any nonsense religion or conspiracy. If we reach adulthood with these default traits dominating our minds, then society and education have truly failed us. We all pay the price in the end as these unshaped intellects pass the mind virus on to the next generation.

P.S. As I wrote this article the unsettling feeling of not doing this topic enough justice kept eating away at my morale. There is so much more that I can and should say on this topic, but I’ll have to wait for the next doomsday predictions to make its rounds. With more people being reached by the internet every year, the next doomsday prediction will undoubtedly be even more spectacular, and reach the minds of more people than the 2012 prophecy did. I find myself, however, adequately prepared with reason and science to evaluate any predictions for myself and come to a sober conclusion—I’ll do my best to fight this nonsense and explain (in simple terms) why these doom prophets are wrong… every single time!

P.S.+ Oh and Nemesis, the rogue star with its cloud of space debris, is coming. Can you feel it? It is out there just waiting to extinguish our existence. Stay tuned for updates!

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