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Atheism: It begins in our breakfast

07 July 2014, 14:36

Today I came to the conclusion that an abnormal build-up of cerebrospinal fluids within the brain of an atheist can cause an intense inclination toward irrationality leading to conversations of total irrelevance and blundered scientific facts. Something that comes to mind as I’m writing this article is that of their theory of the earth being a result of a cosmic accident. Consider for a moment the earth coming into existence through a cosmic blast powerful enough to infuse within its centre a deathly flaming core. Now, if I had that same build-up of cerebrospinal fluids I’d be hoping the sun does not explode out of chance as well at any moment, burning to a crisp my body: resting in peace my soul. But then again I’d have no soul as a soul doth not exist. This is what I believe as an atheist and in this I find comfort. In the core of my evolution I find solace. I’m joyful towards the fact that I’m gladdened in my worth as being the same as dirt.

Having been created by evolutions processes by means of modern organisms having descended upon us from ancient ancestors, I’d constantly be living and thinking in survival mode which would also clarify my passionate craving for H2O. I don’t use the term H2O loosely because intellectual superiority was infused within by the same evolutionary processes that also formed the snail, bringing about a substantially larger intelligence incapable of understanding that what the creationists termed water.

As I browsed the web this evening, pondering a typical day in the life of an atheist, I came across a rather interesting article about an atheist seeing evidence of the big bang in a piece of toast while grabbing a quick bite to eat one morning.

Atheist sees evidence of Big Bang in piece of toast

Excitement is growing in the Northern England town of Huddersfield following news that local atheist Donald Chapman saw an image of the Big-Bang in a piece of toast. In an exclusive interview with "The Huddersfield Express" Chapman, 36 explained that he was sitting down to eat breakfast when an unusual toast pattern caught his eye.

"I was just about to spread the butter when I noticed a small hole in the middle of the bread surrounded by a burnt black ring," said Chapman. "Then the direction and splatter pattern of the crumbs caught my eye - they were flowing outward from the centre of the black hole and their shades were changing as distance from the centre grew - a perfect match to the non-linear patterns that followed the Big-Bang. It's the beginning of the world - right there in my breakfast!"

As Chapman attained copyright on the pieces of toast moments after he made the discovery in order for future university curriculums to be credited to his name, I unfortunately cannot display the images here as well without giving proper credit to the site I copied this section from. In order to view these scientific finds please follow the link in recognition of this site -

Ever since news of the discovery made national headlines, local hoteliers have been overwhelmed by an influx of atheists from all over the country who have flocked to Huddersfield to catch a glimpse of the scientific relic. "I have always been an Atheist and to see my unbelief validated on a piece of toast is truly astounding," exclaimed one guest at the Huddersfield Arms hotel.

To the surprise of many, the UK Atheist Association has asked its members to ignore the story despite its potential to inspire less faith. "Given what the religious believe already, this is an easy sell," complained one disgruntled activist who said he was going to Huddersfield anyway noting that "Seeing is not believing."

The irrelevance of an Atheistic world-view

In conclusion to this article I reiterate the first point I made regarding the abnormal build-up of cerebrospinal fluids on the brain of an atheist. For the sake of the layman cerebrospinal fluids simply refers to these literati of people as having excessive amounts of water on the brain. The build-up is often caused by an obstruction which prevents proper fluid drainage – an obstruction undoubtedly caused by a typical power surge somewhere along the ranks of their evolutionary processes. The type of damage to the brain can cause headaches, vomiting, blurred vision, cognitive problems, and walking difficulties which can lead to fatalities if left untreated.

In order to treat a condition such as this successfully a few scenarios does exist – for the sake of closing this writing lets briefly examine only one:

Atheists follow out what they believe. Therefore there is no reason for living at all, because they just live on an extremely dangerous planet, with an extremely dangerous universe, with zero hope for anything at all. There is no moral distinction between any actions at all, and murder is just as equal as kindness in relation to morality, because in their worldview there is no such thing. And they have no explanation for something like when someone prays for something and it actually happens other than by ‘chance’.”

This statement will undoubtedly lead some atheists commenting in ways such as this: “You are so ignorant. I have never met someone so ridiculously ignorant. You are not even worth my time. I obviously have an extremely smart and thought out objection to this statement of yours but I find no need to tell it to you. You probably wouldn’t understand. You are not open-minded enough. It would surely make you melt where you are sitting. All I have to say to you is that you are filled with fallacies and should go back to the third grade!”

The cure to this cerebrospinal fluid build-up lies in their ability to either listen to reason or to storm away angrily at this point. Staying and listening will be the first step in releasing some of those pressures on the brain. Storming away fuming will merely increase their headaches to greater degrees and also contribute to the walking difficulties they might be experiencing...

 *** Later on during the week I’ll try to post an article on atheists contemplating a march to the relevant authorities to deliver a petition to abolish Murphy’s Law.

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