Brides in Cape Town are rude

2012-08-01 17:21

Warning: I have to swear twice in this article. As all of you know by now, I don’t use foul language and talk about nasty stuff. I try to be an example to my beloved fellow readers here on News24.

Cape Town is the best place on earth. The best food, the best rugby when we beat those Storming Prima Donnas, the best wine……it is just simply like no other place on earth.

But it also has the most interesting people in our country. I’m talking about the Bergies. We should erect a monument for the Bergies because they are what Cape Town is all about.

A while ago a few of guys were on our way to a watering hole on Loop Street. As I torment all of you on here, so do I at the office and in public with strangers.

Just before we enter the waterhole, a Bergie woman comes up to us and begs for some money.

I say to her:

“Wat wil jy met die geld maak? Spirits koop?

Out of the blue she hits me with her bag and says:

“Luister hie, djou ma se moer. Ons is upper-class Bergies en ons bly da boe in die Oranjezicht in. Ons drink net Nehdeburg”

We couldn’t stop laughing and while we were killing ourselves of laughter another patron told us the absolute best Bergie story I have ever heard.

Some of you might know that the gardens around Grootte Schuur hospital have been a national treasure for yonks. It has been featured in magazines the world over. So naturally the nursing staff are all very proud to work surrounded by this beauty.

It also a favourite spot for wedding pictures. Thousands of brides have been photographed at Grootte Schuur. But the “upper-class” Bergies have no problem making the gardens their toilet as well.

A Matron is standing at a window one morning when she sees a Bergie squatting in the gardens and adding his contribution by supplying some nutrition for the plants.

The Matron storms out the building and yells at the Bergie:

“Wat maak djy, het djy nie maniere nie”

The Bergie quickly pulls up his pants and ever so innocently says to the Matron:

“Issie ons wat so kak innie tuin nie, issie Bruide”

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