An open letter to the SARS
You are the most incompetent, annoying and frustrating (dis)organisation it has ever been my misfortune to deal with, and I’ve dealt with a few in my time.
Every year, without fail, you send me a sms stating that I owe you a small fortune in taxes, taxes it must be noted that have already been deducted – monthly – from my salary and paid over to yourselves.
No telephone numbers, no details and no names but - like the Mafia - threatening that if I don’t come up with the goods immediately you will take action against little old me.
You money-grabbing assholes don’t even supply an e-mail address – or at least a valid one that responds to my e-mails - maybe because you are scared, or unable, to answer the e-mails which are sent to you, or maybe because you like to operate from the murky depths like sharks, orcas, gremlins and other Stephen King-like nightmares.
I’ve submitted documentation – piles and piles of documentation – on numerous occasions, for 3 years now, including certified copies of passport stamps, IRP5’s, letters from employers, spread sheets showing earnings, deductions, gross and net pay - everything except what I had for breakfast - and yet you ignore, lose or misplace this all and then go quiet until it’s time to send out sms’s again.
I cannot retrieve the money being held by an insurance company, via two sets of provident fund contributions dating back to 2010, as they are waiting on you to assure them that I do not owe yourselves any money. How twisted is that, you useless bloody clowns?
Obviously neither can I retrieve the taxes you have taken from me for 3 years now yet you state, continuously, ad nauseam – probably using my money - that you are going after tax-dodgers, that your income is steadily increasing and that you are doing a good job for all. HA!
My only question for you, you miserable, bottom-dwelling, blood sucking, scum-eating parasites is this:
If I die before you refund me, will you continue sending me threatening sms’s as then I’ll know to take my cellphone and laptop with me so that I can contact you from HELL?
Oh right, on second thoughts it’ll only be a local call as you lot will be sitting right next to me.
Yours in disgust,