Have an affair with your wife

2012-07-22 14:58

For those of you that can’t distinguish the difference between my tongue in cheek articles and the serious ones, this is a serious matter.

After my first article confessing my adulterous ways, many of you reading this have come out of the woodwork and faced yourselves and that is a great step. It is a pity those guys living in faraway places can’t join our support group. For all the criticism I received on here for spilling my beans in public, the end result meant many men in this situation suddenly found a place where they could simply be the sinner man without being surrounded by a whole world judging them.

I’m writing this article for all those guys that are thinking of wandering outside the boundaries of their marriage.

What I have learned from others over the last few weeks was that the manner in which we start straying is almost identical. A lot of times it is with a co-worker and for some it happens on a business trip. But in the final analysis we are all faced with the same situation at home.

You get back from work and the first thing you face is a wife that has had a whole full day of tending to kids,  and in some cases helping you keep food on the table. You are hoping you are going to get lucky tonight but the moment you walk into the door all of those hopes are crushed with kids that need attention.

You remove yourself away from the situation by either turning the television on or fleeing to the boundless freedom of Internet and all the opportunities it presents. I noticed in one of my articles very few wives want to hear that their husbands are indulging in porn on Internet.

In this article I’m going to try and help some guys through this crossroad you have to face when the realities of marriage and kids arrive at your doorstep.

If you want your wife to become your lover again, the first thing you should do is when you walk into the door at night, is to help her get the kids sorted. Start doing school homework, bath them and get them off to bed after supper. If you can cook it is bonus, because it kills them having to worry about what they are going to feed us every night. It must rank as one of the most tedious jobs within a marriage is the eating issue. It is no joke trying to make meals interesting.

The point is, don’t leave all of this up to her. I know you have had a day from hell at the office. In this current landscape very few of our jobs are secure. This is a non racial statement because black guys have the same worries as we have when it comes to retrenchment due to the economy.

You are paying the bond, so you might think you have done your bit at the office for the day and now you need to escape the harsh realities of your career, and what better way to escape is there than to have some wild sex.

These are the changes I made in my own life, not because I want to be with my kids, but because I wanted to be close to that girl I married 10 years ago. I wanted those days back when we would have sex on the kitchen counter. Most women don’t understand our intentions when it comes to sex. They brush it off as horniness when in fact it is an attempt to experience a closeness we need on a daily basis.

Most of us think by having an affair with mostly some single unattached woman satisfies that primal need in us. We have the wife at home tending to the kids we love and the affair supplies the rest of the spoils. Wrong! Believe me; you are digging a pit of hell for yourself.

You are destroying the lives of everybody including the affair’s. Most of all you are causing your kids the worst suffering they could possibly have to endure excluding a death.

When you are at this crossroad, all you have to do is sacrifice 3 hours a day to get back to the bliss you once knew straight after the wedding.

I have now made my wife, my mistress. Sounds crazy? It works.

I call her at all random hours and speak to her on the phone. Even when I am at home. She will be in the kitchen and I would go outside and call her asking her where her husband is because I would like to meet secretly later tonight. I have now managed to divorce my own self from the husband and father I should be into a split personality that is having an affair with my own wife.

You have no idea how excited such a stupid phone call makes her. Suddenly she feels special again. You could walk into the kitchen and hug her and tell her you want to have sex later, but that will never be as effective as the sly phone call.

This has now turned into the hottest affair I have ever had just because I started thinking out of the box. I brought role play into the marriage and we have not had this much fun, not even before the kids.

I’ll call her from the office and tell her I’m the school’s headmaster and her report card arrived. Her marks are dismal and she needs to report to my office tonight at 9 so appropriate punishment can be handed out.

When she came into my study at 9 that night, I made her write an essay telling me what about our sex life she would change. I wanted to know what her fantasies were. All full of giggles she sat down and wrote me the “punishment” essay. At that moment our married responsibilities were forgotten and she became the centre of my attention. It was a bonding experience like we have never had in all the 12 years since we started dating. We were both back at university again and the first date experience was back all over again.

I stopped referring to myself as her husband altogether. Even during intercourse I would say something like this: “What time is your husband coming home”. She would burst out laughing. Start having sex in all the most impossible places of your home to avoid monotony.

What will you achieve if you reignite your marriage?

Firstly, your wife has given you the best years of her life and to leave her with the kids while you continue repeating this journey and causing the same pain to another woman is simply not fair. As bitchy as women can become during a marriage that is failing, so understanding they can become if they get recognition for the sacrifices they make for us. They are truly magic humans.

Secondly, all of this self indulgence having an affair isn’t fair on your skelmpie. She is a woman too and has the same emotions as your wife. One of the most soul destroying things for the skelmpie is to see you get dressed after you had sex with her, and then leave her and go back to your family.

But lastly, for the sake of your kids. You made them, stay with them. I have never seen my kids happier than at this present time. The trick is to mix the whoring dog within you with your responsibilities in life.

Have an affair with your wife!

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