Mummy where is your penis?

2012-08-17 10:40
I had some IT problems at home last night and was busy in my study trying to get some components to work.

Deep in thought and concentrating I am rudely brought back to the reality of home life and raising kids.

The next moment this 4 year old is standing in front of me saying:

“Where is Mummy’s penis?”

I had to keep a straight face, but was lost for words! I couldn’t burst out laughing so I had to get myself out of the situation as fast as possible. So I say:

“Mummies don’t have penises and I’m busy now, I’ll talk to you later”

Off he runs down the passage and I follow to go ask his mother what has happened  when I hear him say to his brother:

“Did you know Mummy doesn’t have a penis?”

Brother says:

“Yes, girls don’t have penises, only boys have them”

The 4 year old wasn’t satisfied with the answer.


Big brother:

“Go ask Dad”

So I walk into our bedroom with Mummy getting into her pyjamas and ask her what has suddenly happened that we have this strange question coming up. She says she was getting undressed and didn’t expect the little one to come barging in on her and he by accident saw she didn’t have a penis. We had a good laugh and she said she sent him off to me to get the answer because she couldn’t keep a straight face.

For those of you that have read my previous articles will know I have this 4 year old that believes God is the answer to all our needs. Bitter pill to swallow as an atheist, but I just don’t have the balls to tell him the truth at 4. His 4 year old faith is rather cute to witness.

He is adamant after his bedtime story is read that he has to thank God for everything every night. So I just sit through the prayer and hope I get the opportunity to save my kid from an eternal delusion at some later stage.

He was taught by his brother about praying. One of the few disadvantages of being schooled in a Jewish school.

So I read the bedtime story and the young man drops down on his knees:

“Thank you God for our house

and our dog

and my brother

and Daddy

and the food Mummy makes

and God please give Mummy her penis back”

I had to flee the bedroom and go laugh somewhere else.

Boys will be boys! 4 and he is already thinking life is unbearable without a penis!

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