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The negotiator

13 February 2018, 13:31

"Hey Boss...the people are talking..."

"What are they talking about?"

"About that big house you built with their money, Boss"

"It is not a house...! "

"Sorry Boss... that chicken run ...with pool..."

" I will have you know this is my mansion - my palace...and I paid for it with my...I paid for it. I paid eleventy hundred and thousand something..."

"Sorry Boss, but the people are talking..."

"Then I will exercise my constitutional powers and appoint a commission of inquiry make them stop talking"

"Sorry Boss, but that is not all they are talking about"


"They are also talking about that girlfriend of yours. I'm not sure if it is SAA, SABC or Petro ... or Sally" Anyway - they say she is taking a lot of money..."

"Let them talk. I have enough wives to keep me busy."

"And they are also talking about your little daughter, the one that accidentally fell into a R1 million a year government job...and of your son who is mega rich through your friends of government."

"So? What is wrong with becoming a billionaire? We did not join the revolution to be poor, did we?"

"Yes, Boss, but they say the people are getting poorer and we are getting richer..."

"He..he...he... Of course we must be getting richer. We have the majority vote, remember - that is how it works in a democracy..."

"Yes Boss...but what about all that money that went to Dubai?"

"You know nothing about that! And remember, I am still your President!"

"Yes, my president! Of course, my president, but my people asked me to ask you to step aside know...for them to have their turn...There are still so many exotic places in this world they would like to visit...and I still only have 13 houses, you know..."

" I am going nowhere"

"Oh PLEASE, my president! We have come such a long way together and we understand each other so well. My followers and I have always supported you in everything you did. We really would like to have a go at the train ourselves, now. Please could you consider retiring, resigning or something? We promise that we will make it worth your while"

"I will consider your offer, but there will be conditions. And remember: I know everything about all of you."

"Of course, my president! Nobody needs to know what we discussed. It stays within these walls. The important thing is for us to maintain the unity of the family"

"He...he...he... You are a man after my own heart...long live the family!" 

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