July 18, 2019 was supposed to be a celebration; a reminder of our blessings as a nation. A day to be thankful and grateful to call ourselves Mandela's children. The magic of the rainbow nation has faded away giving rise to despondency. Most people have lost hope about the future. If South Africa needed Mandela's magic it was this past week. Former president Jacob Zuma's appearance at Zondo commission speaks volume about what is wrong with the country. I was disturbed by all the spy stories as gangsters were killing innocent people in the Cape flats. No leaders to lead. I went to Nelson Mandela's book The struggle is my life for inspiration. This book was created to celebrate Mandela's 60th birthday in prison. It is a great collection of his speeches and writings. This book together with Hilda Bernstein's The world that was ours were a mirror to the world we created. Hilda and her husband Rusty were white South Africans who gave up privilege to be part of the mass democratic movement. It is their story in the liberation movement. It is easy forget that black and white were once united in the fight against apartheid. The fight was not against skin colour but racist policies. Why are South Africans so divided along skin colour in 2019? What happened to us?