Prerequisites to be a Creationist

This little write up outlines the basic requirements to be a Creationist, specifically, one of the self-righteous ones that believe that Creationism has a place in schools, science and society. It is presented in a somewhat humorous fashion, but what it says is entirely true. I must maintain that I hold all Creationists who think that Creationism should be taught alongside or instead of evolution in very low regard.

I don't have a problem with Creationists that just admit that their beliefs are totally faith-based and have no grounding in logic or science – but do not sell it as science when the major proponents like (but not limited to) Discovery Institute have given up selling it as science.

In fact Creationism (or as it is currently called “Intelligent Design”) is being pushed via political agendas around the world, not as a credible scientific alternative to Evolution. It uses people’s ignorance and fears to further their agenda.

Science does not care whether Evolution or Creationism (Intelligent Design) is correct, whether it agrees with your belief or (even worse) faith, whether it is politically correct or whether you understand it – it only cares about evidence / facts.  Science serves the theist as well as the atheist.  It is a tool for us humans to wield to explain our world around us, to broaden our horizons, to explain what goes “bump” in the night or what hides in the shadows.

Court evidence, as confirmed and reiterated my Michael J Behe (Intelligent Design crusaderhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Behe) in the Dover vs Kitzmiller trail (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kitzmiller_v._Dover_Area_School_District), confirmed that the goal of Creationist Crusaders are to redefine the term “Science” that will be taught to students, to:  reduce the importance of evidence and include the supernatural (by folding in alchemy, astrology, mysticism, etc.).  Basically warp the definition of Science so “Goddidit” would be a valid scientific explanation for, well everything!

1. IGNORANCE

You must, without question or exception, be completely ignorant of science, logic and real life, in general, to be a Creationist. Every "argument" a Creationist puts forth to "disprove" Evolutionary Theory is nothing more than a mangling of pseudo-science, outright lies, logical fallacies, exaggerations and misinformation. They also rely on the same, recycled, refuted arguments. There has not been one new Creationist argument recently put forth. It's still attacking radiometric dating with the abhorrent notion that decay rates vary, and it's still lying about the Law of Entropy to make it seem as if it makes evolution impossible. It is still ignoring any evidence for “transitory fossils”. Nothing has changed.  It is ironic that in the period where trial preparations was done for the Dover vs. Kitzmiller trial, so much new evidence supporting Evolution became available, that it alone could support the case for Creationism to be labelled as “a joke”.  Evidence which the entire “scientist” defence team for Intelligent Design could not challenge in court.

2. DISHONESTY

You must be completely dishonest to purport Creationist arguments. Creationists routinely lie about thermodynamics, radiometric dating, Evolutionary Theory, science, scientists and general scientific concepts.

3. INEXCUSABLE INCOMPETENCE

It's not lying if you think it's the truth. Many Creationists actually believe that the Second Law of Thermodynamics refutes Evolutionary Theory. This is simply stupidity, and it is totally inexcusable. Anytime someone who doesn't have a legitimate authority in science tells you that scientists are wrong because of whatever reason, you'd better check up on it before just blindly accepting it as fact. The fact that so many have been taken in by Creationist pseudo-science and lies is testament to intellectual laziness. It is also a testament to the scientific education of the general populace.

4. FERVENTLY RELIGIOUS LUNACISM

If you believe that the Bible is correct about the creation of the Universe, then you must believe that it is completely literal, as no contextualist would ever interpret a story which contradicts physical evidence and is contradicted by another story in the same book, in the same section.

5. RELIGIOUS BIGOTRY

If you believe that the Bible is to be interpreted literally, then you believe that all other religions are wrong, and that all of their followers will forever be tortured in the afterlife. Consequently, you also must believe that it is your duty, as a Christian, to seek out and destroy all these other religions' sacred objects and defile their practices. Anyone who interprets the Bible literally must also accept that racism, slavery and sexism are all the will of God.

6. DISBELIEF IN HUMAN RIGHTS

The Bible makes it clear that humans have no rights. No one has the right to practice their own religion (except Christianity and Judaism) without punishment, and no one is allowed to say what they want to say without retribution. To do so violates some of the Ten Commandments.

7. ANTI-DEMOCRATIC/PRO-THEOCRACY MINDSET

The Bible makes it clear that a democracy based on the will of the people is not God's preferred government. Rather, the best government is a dictatorship, enforced with terrorism, mass-homicide and "Big Brother" tactics (i.e. "God knows everything that you do").  If you look at the political trend of American Republicans, then it is easy to see that they are interesting in a true democracy.  South Africa’s democracy is still miles ahead of America, and in a different league of what the Republicans (largely supported by the Evangelical Christians, who in turn largely support Creationism) would want it to be.

8. BELIEF THAT GOD IS THE ARBITER OF MORALITY

The Bible purports the massively-flawed belief that God is infallible. Even though God has been convinced to change his mind repeatedly by human beings in the Bible, he is still incapable of doing wrong. This belief only reinforces the belief that humans have no rights, as we are under the watchful eye of God, who will severely punish us for minor infractions.

9. BELIEF THAT ALL BRANCHES OF SCIENCE ARE CONSPIRING TO COVER UP "THE TRUTH" OF CREATIONISM

In order to be a Creationist, you must believe that scientists are untrustworthy servants of the devil, whose agenda is to distort facts and make it seem as if Evolution is the truth, when, in reality, they're not telling us about the volumes of "facts" that the Creationists do. Scientists want everyone to believe that the Universe was caused by random chance, that there is no God, and life has no meaning (because, Evolution obviously necessitates all of these things). All branches of science that give evidence for an ancient Earth are just flunkies for the Evolutionists. Astrophysics, geology, physics, astronomy, palaeontology, biology, chemistry, earth and life sciences, genetics...none are credible branches of science, only beams in the support structure of Evolution.

10. OVERALL, GENERALIZED STUPIDITY

If you're a Creationist, you're an idiot. I don't care if you're the nicest person on Earth, have a doctorate in astrophysics, or stumped Stephen Hawking on general physics. The complete dismissal of so many branches of science, scientists' credibility, evidence in addition to the intellectual laziness and fervent religious bigotry that come with being a Creationist makes one a complete idiot. This is one blanket statement that I am not afraid to make, because it is true. If you find a religiously-tolerant Creationist, you've found a hypocrite. The person in question would accept the Bible as literal truth on a scientific level, but would be ignoring the commandments of racism, religious intolerance and persecution that God handed down to the Israelites.

This article is largely based on an essay written by Damian Sorresso in 2003 (http://www.daltonator.net/durandal/me.shtml).

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