Branson headed to 'centre of Earth'

2012-03-31 13:08

New York - British tycoon Richard Branson may have lost his race to the bottom of the ocean, but not his sense of humor, declaring on Friday a faux plan to top his rivals by voyaging to the centre of the Earth.

The impossible adventure was announced, tongue jammed in cheek, with the seriousness of a real campaign.

"Sir Richard Branson to launch journeys to the centre of the Earth through Virgin Volcanic" the website claims, in one of two teasingly-timed announcements ahead of this weekend.

An early clue that this was a joke was that a press release from Branson's PR people cannot be published until April 1.

The announcement came days after Hollywood director James Cameron grabbed headlines by making history's first solo - and real - trip by submarine to the deepest point of the world's oceans: the Mariana Trench in the Pacific.

It was an exploit that Branson, known for his pursuit of ballooning and sailing records, had had his eye on too.

Never mind: Cameron will eat his heart out hearing that Branson says he'll take trendy singer of the Black Eyed Peas in a special capsule down into a volcano and from there to the molten centre of the planet.

"I have long held a fascination with volcanoes having read Jules Verne's Journey to the Centre of the Earth as a young boy," Branson said on the website.

"Volcanoes are the next great unexplored terrain. What can I say, I lava challenge!"

At the same time as the relatively subtle volcanic spoof announcement, Branson also unveiled a more straightforwardly crackpot plan on his blog - for a Virgin-branded time machine.

"We've had a slightly frightening breakthrough with a time machine. I've found that we can now go backwards in time but not forwards. Fortunately we can get back to the present," he wrote.

Underneath a picture of him dressed in a white coat inside a cubicle-style machine labelled "Virgin Time Travel," he added: "This could be one of the greatest breakthroughs Virgin have ever worked on.

"Even more exciting than Virgin Galactic or Virgin Oceanic."

Below that was a photo of him emerging from the machine four decades ago, in full 1970s flares and roll-top sweater with a copy of Tubular Bells - the debut hit record of Branson's career-starting Virgin Records -- under his arm.

"As you can see from the photos, I went back to 1972. How far backwards would you like to time travel? Where would you like to go?"

  • Shirley - 2012-03-31 13:40

    Well Sir Branson I dont think this indevour will be "hotly" contested!

  • andre.ernstzen - 2012-03-31 13:45

    "I lava challenge" LOL

  • heydra - 2012-03-31 14:09

    This explains why he is so rich. He invented a time travel machine that took him back in time. He then mentored his younger self on how to make even more money and where to invest his wealth. I wish to meet my older self someday to mentor me on what the future holds so that I too may be rich beyond my wildest dreams.

  • Denise - 2012-03-31 19:12

    "I've found that we can now go backwards in time but not forwards. Fortunately we can get back to the present." Like we would trust this statement? :-)

  • zaatheist - 2012-03-31 20:05

    Well Richard as an atheist you must realise you are destined to be cast into hell when you expire. See you there; with all the other really interesting people.

      grant.hide - 2012-04-01 13:41

      Faith that there is money in my pocket doesn't make money appear in my hand when i go to the teller to pay for my Sunday shopping now, does it? So prove it to us then when it happens :D In the mean time, As Sir Richard said his time machine can't go forwards, so you'll have to wait to see what happens, Good Luck.

      Jaco - 2012-04-02 11:12

      judgmental moran, go read your bible it about judging, your religion is not welcome here

  • JasonMichaelsRSA - 2012-04-01 23:30

    I can't take this story serious since the date is April 1st

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