Positive parenting

2016-01-27 06:00
Nhla Dlamini-Ngcoya. Photo: supplied

Nhla Dlamini-Ngcoya. Photo: supplied

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SITTING in the school’s parking lot watching familiar faces of parents who have the privilege to drive their children to school, give them a hug and kiss before they walk into the school premises made me think - wouldn’t it be nice to live in a society that opens the possibility for everyone to have a fulfilling career, or simply a good job with good wages, if that’s what we choose, along with a personal life that gives us the satisfaction of loving and caring for others.

Another year has started and the struggle of juggling family and work starts all over again. Parents and children have high expectations of each other, employers have hectic work schedules and goals that need to be met. Your priority is your family, but parents’ work becomes an issue when they miss activities in their children’s lives.

It is important for families to communicate, speak about the events of the day and share goals. You can even sit with a year planner and discuss which activities you would be able to attend and what arrangements you can make for those you can’t. For instance, ask the other parent to take pictures and video clips to watch with your child later.

When they know you are not physically there, but you will still see their performance, they will still excel at whatever they doing, otherwise they might mistakenly see your absence as being not caring and unloving.
By keeping the lines of communication open you are avoiding building up resentment among those affected. Explaining your job, its challenges, schedules, location, what it pays for (house, cars, food, school bills, etc.) to your children helps them understand and appreciate you more for what you doing for their well-being.

Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.” - M. Cousins.

About the columnist

• Nhla Dlamini-Ngcoya is the biological mother of two boys, Mpilonhle 13 and Bongi 7, but a mother to many and has been married for 10 years.
She is completing her final year in psychological counselling and her ultimate goal is to be a clinical psychologist specialising in family and marriage counselling.
“I am passionate about the subject of family and children because I believe it is the core of everything in life.
“I work with families in my work as a wedding planner. I am fascinated by the multiracial dynamics in family lifestyles and parenting.
“I believe through communication we can have an insight to understand each other and how much similar we really are.
“I do motivational speaking in various subjects around relationships.”

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