Telling it as it is, or as it should, always

2015-06-25 06:00
laughing with
lunga adam

laughing with lunga adam

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Politics is not my cup of tea, although it goes without saying that one has to be aware of one’s surroundings because, one way or the other, it does affect us all.

One such example is the shenanigans at Megawatt Park, which have forced us to go on sporadic stages of the dreaded “load shedding”.

So why do I decide to feed you political talk then, when such a topic is not close to my heart?

Well, I guess at one stage or another, one catches the “bug”, and once that happens, there can be no turning back.

There are municipal elections coming up next year.

In the run-up to the whole shebang, there will be promises galore, before the different political parties go into hibernation. Poor souls, the hoi polloi.

As a poor Mzansi fellow, one that’s hard-to-please, I’ve come up with a list of things I’d like my party of choice to take into consideration and address as a matter of urgency.

I feel that the ruling party, as it were, has failed in not having been forthcoming on these issues that affect not only me, leading to disappointment all round.

To start with, it is now winter.

It’s so cold at this time of year, that as I write this, I have shut the gate and burglar bar at my crib! It’s an open secret that among the throngs of people who voted for the ANC are those who belong to the Singles Club, if you catch my drift.

It’s going to be a long winter of discontent for them, especially as the Mam’ Ruby’s of this world will be quick to point out: “Yhu ukuba ujonge esisdudla sindim kule winter, ufana nolinde u KFC kwa Build It.”

I leave it in your hands, as our trusted government, to rescue the situation.

Talking of situations, one that irritates me no end is that of girls pleading the fifth amenment when you greet them in the taxi.

Any party that can come up with ways to remedy the status quo is sure to get my vote.

No headphones and social networks formed against us shall prosper. Or kanjani, gents?

Lest we forget, political parties need to be seen to address the issues affecting the rank and file. They need not be far from the ground.

Which is why I was disappointed that when Operation Fiela rolled into town recently, they did not make a stop in Lower Crossroads in order to find the guy that my girlfriend is cheating with.

If only to ask him why he’s inflicting such emotional pain on me. Does he know how hard I worked to win the affection of this lady?

The stalking, the late night calls and, ja well, the greetings that never received an answer. Worse still, every time my girl leaves me for this guy, it is right after I’ve given her “imali yentloko”.

Put yourself in my shoes. Then, as one who enjoys his fermented water, I have more suggestions.

How about it’s made compulsory and written into law that whoever dragged you out for a session of drinking on a Saturday evening is liable for ukukuqabula the following day. The headache as a result of a hectic night out is no laughing matter, joe. Also, taverns that open at 12 noon for business on a Sunday need to have their licences revoked, because by that time we need to have been carried home by a stretcher at least twice. For Pete’s sake, Monday’s a work day! Let’s drink to that!

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