COLUMN: Negotiating a night out is a tricky business...

2016-06-02 06:00
on the run lunga adam

on the run lunga adam

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No two weekends are the same, and I’m afraid I will forever remember the past one for being left in the lurch by a girl I had just met. Literally.

It was a rare and unusual moment for yours truly.

I also know that, when it comes to the nature of the incident over the weekend, I am not alone.

Such situations are known to confront guys right across kokasi, from Langa to Kha’ltsha.

I remember an embarrassing occurrence a couple of years ago which involved two girls and two guys.

You could not miss the swagger and the accompanying spring in the step, as they ordered drink after drink for.

Soon the women were out of sight and the dented egos of were for all to see.

It transpired that the girls had also dumped some of the ciders they had been drinking.

It seems one trick that has survived all is the act of the fairer sex of asking: “ndicela uyokunxiba i jersey,”.

As a guy, you have to be incredibly experienced to see through that trickery.

Because, by ‘ndiyokunxiba i jersey’, she actually means: ‘Bye, lad. Thank you for the drinks. I had a ball of a time.’

I also recently fell flat for that ruse.

How stupid or intoxicated must I have been, to allow for a request to change lingerie at 2am.

I bumped into her weeks later, she told me some sob story.

‘I did come back nje, babe, but you were nowhere to be seen,” she offered. Whatever!

Mind you, girls have a tendency to not even blink when pulling wool over your eyes. You have to give to them.

You do not have to smell foul play to fall prey to these wicked ways.

I once boasted of a a ‘new release’ to my buddies.

Boy, was she one to brag about! So I made an appointment to meet her one Tuesday evening after work.

Being a Johnny Walker sort of guy, I opted for the long walk from one side of the kasi to the other, to rendezvous with her.

So determined was I that I did not give a second thought about skollies who prey on ‘unsuspecting’ fellows like me.

I was even more content after catching sight of those ‘visible policing’ cop vans, even after receiving nasty stares from them.

Fortunately, they did not ask questions or order me to go back to where I was coming from at that time of night.

To cut a tall tale short, I walked back with my catch of the day, home safe and sound.

Thixo wase Lower Crossroads! Reaching home that night was a proud moment for me; it was a culmination of all those hours of begging and nagging-you name it-from the weekend when we set eyes on each other.

And so you can understand my consternation when she told me: “Sorry, it’s that time of the month.”

I have not seen her since and I could never part with her name even if you asked me.

Then there is the small matter of having to tell your chums about how it all went (down).

0They do not even wait for you to open your quart the next morning before bombarding you with questions.

“Ekse ude wavaya nayo la weyi phezolo?” Whatever you tell them, you are damned.

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