‘Zise right iigirls’? make them babes feel good

2015-12-17 06:00
laughing lunga adam

laughing lunga adam

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Season’s Greetings to the girls, and anyone else who happens to be reading my last instalment for the year.

I’m impressed. The well-being of girls seems to be of paramount importance to society these days. Remember the ‘Take a Girl Child to Work’ campaign, which proved successful springboard for school-going girl-kids to achieve their dreams.

In case you have been living under a rock, the latest craze is the term “zise right iigirls?” When it comes to catchphrases, I had thought #FeesMustFall was going to be a runaway winner; that some prestigious honour was in the offing this year for initiating a crucial debate regarding our institutions of higher learning. South Africans from all walks of life were touched when university students took to the streets to make the authorities lend them an ear about the staggering cost of getting an education in our country. The hashtag, I hear, even reached as far as the UK. The whole world was in unison with the marginalised Mzansi kids. Then the government finally gave in. “Fees have fallen,” came the announcement.

#FeesMustFall has thus come to epitomise that period of turmoil and unease between government, students and university authorities. Yet, ‘zisela ntoni ii girls’ suddenly appeared on the social networking horizon and pulled the mat from right under the feet of the #FeesMustFall bandwagon. So big is this craze, that after President Jacob Zuma fired Nhlanhla Nene as Finance Minister and replaced him with David van Rooyen last week, a picture of JZ with his hands up in the air circulated on social networks. In it, he seems to be cutting a frustrated figure, and the accompanying caption was: “Ngenditheni ke?” I girl yam ibingekho right?”

So then, fellas, during this period, I need to let you know that it is downright disrespectful and ungentlemanly to walk into a roomful of women and not ask: “Zi right ii girls?” If it happens that azikho right ii girls, your immediate task is to make sure that all is in order and they are happy and satisfied. We just cannot afford to have girls walking around with grumpy faces, while guys are just lounging around and scratching their you-know-what. After ensuring that iigirls zi right, it is of great importance to walk up to their table now and again, to see if indeed zise right iigirls. Also, how you make the girls mjojo depends purely on you, although I must forewarn, they like their Moët et Chandon.

Be warned, too, gents: you do not, under any circumstances, ask my girlfriend if she is alright. In such cases, I consider it a term of endearment and it may make you see a lot of stars, even as it could be during daytime. Should I see you indulging in such, I will be quick to get off my chair, point a finger at you and yell: “Hey, yeka lo girl wena! Seyi right!” Turning a deaf ear to my admonition would land you in serious trouble, s’trues bob.

On a serious note, it has been a very long year, folks. It is a year that either built us or destroyed our spirit, but the mere fact that we are here means we are highly favoured and blessed. Enjoy your holidays with family, friends and all close to you, and come back in the New Year in one piece. This is it. Let me love you and leave you now.

Ndingahamba phofu? Zise right iigirls? Oh, ok then. Cheers.

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