Be kind, but also guard you heart

2019-06-05 06:01
Adv.Kuni Ditira Social Observer

Adv.Kuni Ditira Social Observer

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It is said that a person with a beautiful heart is a kind, caring, helpful, generous, humble, truthful, grateful, committed, forgiving person.

Very few people have these characteristics. People who are kind and have beautiful hearts are abused.

Proverbs 4:23: Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

Abusive people know their victims. They know those who are not able to say no.

It was payday. I entered the gate with two colleagues and one said, “These people know our payday better than we do and this one is used to ask money knowing that I am going to give”. I just laughed.

I have noticed that people who have mental illnesses are good people who are always trying to assist others.

They are the people who end up being hospitalised. Their abusers will never end up in hospital.

At this mental hospital, a team of psychologists, industrial psychologists, biokineticists and psychiatrists teach them skills to equip them to deal with their different challenges.

But when they leave, they go back to their old ways.

Galatians 6:5: For each one should carry his or her own load.

This does not mean that you should not help others, but it means that you should not carry other people’s problems at the cost of your health.

Any time somebody ask for assistance, ask yourself the following: Are they able to do it themselves? Are they unable or unwilling? Do I have resources – time, energy and money?

How am I feeling about it? Am I cheerful when I help or give? What is the source of my giving? Enabling or rescuing?

One of my mentees could not take my no when he asked me for money. He proposed that I should include him in my budget the following month. What a cheek!

Just remember you do not need a reason to say no. When you say yes, you do not need to give a reason.

The person’s reaction to your no is none of your business. You are not responsible for other people’s emotions. Be assertive and communicate better.

I have assisted people when I did not have the resources.

After that, you feel resentment. It is not that person’s problem. You are the one who have a problem to be firm, assertive and to make it clear that you cannot assist.

Abusers know their victim.

They know that you have a beautiful heart and you are a people pleaser. Even when you say no, they know if they persist and harass you, you will end up giving them what they want. Protect your beautiful heart. Establish boundaries.

Learn to say no.

Teach people to fish instead of giving them fish. You are at the end not assisting them because they will not learn.

I have heard people say we wonder what we would do without you. No one is irreplaceable. If you are not there, they will make an alternative plan. Guard your heart.

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