Choose your confidants wisely

2019-10-30 06:00
Advocate Kuni Ditira - Social Observer

Advocate Kuni Ditira - Social Observer

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In life we have different relationships with different people.

You have your family, friends, colleagues and acquaintances.

Each of these relationships are different and you relate differently to each one.

People who are near to you – such as your spouse, children, siblings and other relatives – will hurt you most because you value the relationship.

You cannot share your inner most thoughts and secrets with your best friend and not with your spouse.

The people who are close to you must only be a few such as your spouse and your children. The extended family falls in the next circle.

Your colleagues are not your friends. You cannot visit them and socialise with them. If there is any socialising, then it must be limited. The minute you start visiting each other you are entering the friendship arena that have its own challenges.

In a hair salon, you find that patrons discuss their family lives with the hairdresser. This is not healthy. When you are in a queue at the doctor’s surgery, you do not start sharing information about your illness with someone you do not even know.

There are things you can talk about, such as weather, politics, news and television series.

You do not share your per­sonal life with colleagues and acquaintances.

I heard that people who break into houses get the information from domestic helpers.

They talk in buses and taxis and give away information about the house’s security.

They will for example, say there are no dogs, or the alarm is not activated in the morning when they go to work, or other things.

Teach your children to be careful. They should not give their personal details on social media to people they do not know.

Someone told me that by sharing his story with a person he gave that person the courage to solve her problems. Sometimes people may learn from you story.

However, be careful who you tell your problems to. Not everyone has your interest at heart. That is how gossip starts. You confide in someone who tells other people your story and you are the talk of the town and they laugh at you.

What you tell people define the relationship.

Not everyone should know that you are fighting with your spouse. Sometimes the people you tell your problems to can do nothing about it. Rather tell people that you trust and those who have your interest at heart.

Tell it to people who are in your inner circle.

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