Do the honourable thing and marry her

2017-02-01 06:03
Gaseitsiwe Senoge - Social Observer

Gaseitsiwe Senoge - Social Observer

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Most people “well-informed” about marriage are those who are not married. Information circulated about marriage creates excitement in women and fear in men. Most women are under pressure to marry due to the biological clock – while men either do not have or don’t care about it.

According to my observation, most men do not go into a relationship thinking about marriage, but they want the benefits of married people. Women have made things easy for men. Cohabiting is a new trend providing men with such benefits.

The fear of losing freedom gives most men the chills. Marriage, according to most men, is a dream-killer and they would rather achieve as single before committing.

Only knowing the real character of a person after marriage is the other problem. The unmarried perceive women as nagging and imprisoning and coming back to the same face every day is not an option. The lack of money for marrying, common in lobola (an African custom by which a bridegroom’s family makes a payment in cattle or cash to the bride’s family shortly before the marriage and after which families give their blessing), is the other reason why most men do not rush into marrying or never do it.

Marriage is depicted as the end of life at times. The divorce experiences of friends and family members contribute to the delay and fear of committing to some, although sometimes what one hears or is told might be false.

Ultimately, digging into the core of the fear of marrying reveals the fear of losing control.

Some men think they are not marriage material, until they meet the right person. If it was possible, most men would remain single forever, but most choose to commit later in their lives when they have “played” enough or attained wealth.

I have said it before, young people say times have changed and cohabiting is a new thing. In the olden days, culture placed pressure on men to do the honourable thing, much against their will.

In reality, marriage is a natural step which any human being must take whenever they are ready.

Mark 10:7 says: For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

Just do it . . . get married!

  • Express welcomes anyone to contribute to the weekly column. There is no payment for writers. Send your opinion piece (not exceeding 500 words in Sotho or English) via email to teboho.setena@­

Writers are welcome to send articles of a spiritual nature.


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