Don’t be ashamed, own it

2018-10-24 06:02
Advocate Kuni Ditira - Social Observer

Advocate Kuni Ditira - Social Observer

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Body shaming is a reality.

Most people are always criticising others about the shape of their body.

You are too thin, you are too fat, you are too short, too tall, too whatever.

If you are confident in yourself, you do not need other people’s approval on the shape of your body.

Most of the time the people who are criticising you are not confident about their own body. I have seen beautiful people feeling bad about their bodies.

I know that some people are confident of their bodies no matter what. They have a presence when they enter a room.

If you have big breasts you want small breasts. If you have big buttocks you want small buttocks. If you are as short as I am you want to be tall.

My American friend always sunbathed whilst I was afraid to sit in the sun.

In September my colleague, when we wanted to wear Bermuda shorts, refused – because her legs were still too white from the winter months.

On the contrary, we even go to the extent of bleaching ourselves to look whiter.

I grew up during the time of Black Consciousness when Black was beautiful, and people were proud of their blackness.

I stopped using my English first name.

I decided that I will not use skin colouring.

I told myself that I will not wear a wig like my mother and her sisters. Now we are back where we are wearing wigs and weaves and bleach our skins.

In the end, we must give people space to be who they are or what they want to be.

Wearing a weave and bleaching is their choice.

The danger comes when we want people to conform to our own standards and our own thinking.

I still look at other people and have comments about their body and the way they are dressed until I find myself doing that and must reprimand myself.

A young beautiful petite girl told me that her friend is drinking some medication to get fat.


We must advise our children not to drink these medications to get fat or to lose weight.

These concoctions will damage their kidneys and mess up their metabolism.

I told her that you have a small body frame and if you want to get fat, the fat may just go and settle where you do not want it.

Unfortunately, your body decides where to pack the fat.

You may lose or gain weight in the areas you do not want it to be.

Let us encourage our child­ren to accept how they look.

This will assist them not to have unnecessary stress.

Let us accept that we are not the same.

Our body shape is not the same.

If you are confident, it will shine through your whole being and whatever your body shape, you will look beautiful.

It is true that beauty is from within and it radiates outwards.

Let us not body shame others – that is tantamount to bullying.


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