Face your goodbyes

2017-09-20 06:01
Dineo Mokhoa, social observer

Dineo Mokhoa, social observer

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What do you do when you lose the biggest cheerleaders in your life?

I refer to those you were convinced would be your partners and best friends forever.

In the few years I have been graciously granted on this earth, I have learnt (among many things) that some people are seasonal in one’s life.

There are those who come into your life and add so much colour.

When I say seasonal people, I do not mean those who come for just a couple of weeks and suddenly leave.

No, that is not always the case. In truth, some people’s season in your life can go on for a couple of years.

Just because someone was with you through the good and the bad times, does not guarantee them a lifetime membership in your life.

Seasonal people are there in your life to complete their mission, irrespective of whether they give you a life lesson or a lifetime blessing. In the end, they must find an exit door to your life.

Some goodbyes are simple: “Hey, I still love you and yes, we will hook up when we get the chance.”

Others are just not that easy to get over.

Yet it is in losing certain people that we learn to love our solitary places.

I think it is a necessity to every living being, because it is only through losing some friends that we make room for new and better people.

When I say “better” people, I do not mean that the ones you lose are bad. By “better” people, I mean the kind of company to motivate and encourage you to ultimately be the person you aspire to be.

It is not always easy to lose someone with whom you may have imagined your future.

Yet new stages, new dimensions of growth and a different journey which may lead you to your destiny requires a new you, a refreshed mind, a new friend – or sometimes solitude.

It is no secret that the future is scary.

Sometimes you can see that the person you are in a relationship with is toxic to you, but you can not seem to gather strength to leave, because that person has always been there for you.

So you become afraid that you might never have anyone like that again.

Their presence in your life does not do much for you, but the comfort of the “seven years” of friendship is too cosy for you to get out of.

In life, we make hard decisions and it is of utmost importance that we learn to be selfish with our peace of mind and our joy, even if it means losing those we planned our “forever” with.

Dead weight will drain you.

So grow a thick skin, choose yourself and, above all, love yourself.


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