Relationship between young and old can work

2016-05-18 06:00
KUNI DITIRA, social observer.

KUNI DITIRA, social observer.

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IN the song “Hands Clean” by Alanis Morissette, the singer disses an older lover who had a relationship with her when she was 14 years old and he in his late 20’s. He was at least 15 years older than her.

The song is her attempt to come to grips with an inter-generational affair.

It is accepted that some people are more mature than others and are drawn to older people. Psychologists may tell you that a person is technically searching for a father figure because of what may have happened in his or her life in the past.

Technically, sleeping with a child younger than 16 is a statutory crime, even if the child had consented. This is to protect young children who may experience so-called puppy love. Many children are attracted to people in authority, such as teachers or celebrities. They may even daydream about them. However, the older people are expected to know better and not take advantage of the vulnerability of children.

When both people are adults and mature, the gap in their years may not be of much consequence. Have you ever wondered why older men marry younger women? Studies have shown that older men prefer youth and beauty and women choose older men who offer resources and stability – mutually beneficial relationships. Sometimes, the reasons could be that he is having a mid-life crisis and wants to prove that he has not lost his touch or he wants a child or more children.

I know of a gentleman who is about 40 years old and was never married. After university, he decided to take care of his parents and siblings and to improve their lives.

He put his life on hold for them to get a better life. It is only now that he is ready to marry and have a family.

Surely he will have to marry a younger woman with whom he will start a family and have children. I have always argued that maybe men must marry in their 40’s and marry younger women in their 20’s.

This may prevent a lot of divorces currently happening.

However, it is so beautiful to see two people growing old together. When you see old people walking hand in hand in the mall, drinking coffee, shopping, caring for each other, it makes sense to marry young and grow old together. You understand each other better. You share experiences. The grandchildren and great-grandchildren give you joy and you are wiser in taking care of them.

Unfortunately, some of the inter-generational relationships take place due to poverty and family circumstances.

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