Sometimes forgiveness needs to be earned

2018-05-16 06:02
Ofentse VingerPhoto: Supplied

Ofentse VingerPhoto: Supplied

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There might be someone out there who you have hurt in the most painful way ever, and you regret what you have done, and now want to ask for forgiveness.

Maybe, on that day, you have said words that are so disturbing and hurtful that you now wish you could have said a different word.

Sometimes when we argue with people, we say things that hurt in order to make us feel pleased that we won the argument.

It is only after the argument that one begins to think about what you have said and how you won the argument.

The question is, have you won the argument or have you broken a heart?

Was it necessary to say those things?

Most of the time the things you say tends to create a certain character about you.

For example, you are dating someone and in the middle of the argument you tell her that she does not have anything, her parents are poor and you made her what she is.

At that moment, it automa­tically appears to her that you do not really appreciate her and that you regret what you have done and are doing for her.

By that time she will not understand it was out of sheer anger, no matter how in love you are, even if you did not mean it.

Those words will make her feel like a user, even though you really love her and you did beautiful things for her out of love.

Maybe you have been a problematic child and you have been giving your parents problems ever since you were young. Maybe at this moment you are no longer living with your parents because of the bad things you used to do in the community and to them.

It is never too late to apologise, but apologising does not necessary mean that people will accept your apology immediately.

Sometimes, when someone hurt you and ask for an apology, it becomes difficult for you to accept his or her apology because of the things that was said or done.

Remember to be patient after apologising because people are not the same and not everyone forgive quickly.

Some people will not forgive you immediately, and will instead make you earn their forgiveness as a test that you are really sorry.

Do whatever is needed, even if it means you will have to change your behaviour.

Do it and you will earn their forgiveness.

Asking for forgiveness does not mean things will get back to normal. Those people you will ask forgiveness from might not forgive you due to their own reasons.

But do not despair because you have done a good thing by apologising.

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