Tips for marital success

2016-09-14 06:00
NEW makotis (daughters in law) were called to the stage to get words of wisdom from Past. Anna Tollie. Photo: Boipelo Mere

NEW makotis (daughters in law) were called to the stage to get words of wisdom from Past. Anna Tollie. Photo: Boipelo Mere

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THE source of a successful marriage is the Word of God.

The role of the wife is important in this and it is expected from her to respect her husband.

This message came out loud and clear as speaker after speaker addressed the annual Makoti Enkosini Women of Substance Seminar hosted at the AFM Phomolong Church on Saturday, 3 September.

For the third year in a row women, mostly married or intending to get married, attended the event in numbers to encourage, motivate or empower each other, with the Word of God as basis.

The event, the brainchild of Puleng March, had shown steady growth with worship being taken to another level and with women exhibiting their creations and businesswomen showcasing their businesses.

March, herself a married woman, said the idea behind the initiative came after she realised that married women love being around other married women and to talk to them about the challenges they encounter, and how to overcome it.

“I am a born-again Christian. I had to do the event in a way that is acceptable in church where there is music and the Word of God, which I believe is the main source for a successful marriage,” she added.

“We want married women to believe that they can be successful in all areas of their lives, but they must have a relationship with God. The Word of God is a perfect recipe for a successful marriage.

“We also want women to be sexy everyday and everywhere, especially in their bedrooms for their husbands. That is why we spiced up the event with exhibitions of sexy lingerie.”

Newly married makoti’s (daughters in law) were welcome in the cycle of marriage. Just like the way it is done in the black tradition, they were allowed to sit on a traditional rug and given life lessons and advice by an elder and the experienced Past. Anna Tollie.

She explained to the newly weds the significance of the cake in the marriage.

They were urged to trust in the power of prayer and never to be ashamed to kneel down when communicating with their Lord and not to be ashamed to cry in the presence of the Lord.

“It is true that even in church you will find that some people are celebrating while others are crying. That is how life is.

“That is why you must learn to take control and responsibility for administering your home and your family yourself.

“I am tired of divorces, especially in the house of the Lord.”

The guests were excited by March’s comment when she told them to glorify in any situation.

“Glory is the beauty, dignity and shine you get from God, but sometimes we think it only appears on stage, at work, and that it just fades in the bedroom.

“When God makes you beautiful, you stay beautiful everywhere. No stretch marks takes that away. You glow and shine, even in your bedroom for your husband.

“And of course you must spice up by wearing the right, sexy clothes, and smell good for hubby.”

She further advised them against running to their neighbour or their mother whenever there is trouble in paradise.

“They will find it hard to celebrate and forgive when you are celebrating,” said March.

Women were further encouraged not to lose their cool whenever their husbands return home in the early hours of the morning.

“Once you start insulting him and disrespecting him, he will lose respect for you.

“Remember that the other woman will call him ‘daddy’ or ‘sweety’. Stop going to bed in tracksuits and tights because he will find everything at hand after being pushed away.”

Single women were also advised not to become impatient if their partners do not propose marriage.

“Do not worry. Know that your Adam is coming,” advised Toli further.

Pinkies Matsie gave a financial presentation where she highlighted the importance of knowing your partner’s financial status and for a married couple to start their married life on a clean slate.

“Black people must stop this mentality of poverty. Taking your children to their grandparents is not taking them on holiday.

“Start to budget, be realistic about your expenditure and stop buying useless things. Start investing, otherwise you will end up not living your life to the fullest,” lashed Pinkies while giving a few tips on financial management.

Several women also shared their sad experiences in troubled marriages.

One female pastor, Pricilla, revealed that she fled to Kimberley from an abusive marriage. She said that all the signs of abuse were there before she got married to her ex-husband.

Sharing her feelings, she admitted that she got into the marriage for the wrong reasons, but managed to get out of it alive.

She has now been now re-married for 14 years.

“It is 14 years of a happy marriage,” she praised.

Mpho Mathikga shared her sad tale of her eight years of troubled marriage with the audience.

She said that because of her decision to stay close to Christ throughout her ordeal, she has managed to work through her problems.

“You must always remember that no season stays forever, they all come and pass,” motivated Mathikga.

Pleased at the turnout of the women, March said they might be forced to move to a bigger venue next year.

She promises more surprises for next year’s event.

She extended her gratitude to Dischem, AFM Phomolong, Revival FM, Design Essential and Portia M Adjo for believing in this vision and sponsoring goody bags, and also to Ratosiya, Boitumelo ba Sechaba, Foschini, Pick n Pay, Kemotho Entertainment and Northern Cape Express for spreading the word.

March is a Kimberley-born singer, actress and song writer, a winner of awards in two categories at the Metro FM Music Awards with her Thaba Tshweu album in 2006. She won the best newcomer and the best female vocalist award.

She is currently singing for MTN Joyous Celebration.

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