You can be a family in more ways than one

2016-12-14 06:02
Adv. Kuni Ditira – Social Observer

Adv. Kuni Ditira – Social Observer

Multimedia   ·   User Galleries   ·   News in Pictures Send us your pictures  ·  Send us your stories

Many couples struggle to conceive and have a child of their own.

Sometimes fertility treatment can be given, which may include in vitro fertilisation. This is a process through which fertilisation takes place in a test tube and the fertilised egg is implanted into the woman.

There is also surrogacy, when a woman carries the fertilised egg of another woman.

Other people opt for adoption.

In our black society, we do not understand these developments. There are divorces because a spouse may feel that he or she wants their own children. In other cultures people adopt. We would rather take a relative’s child and raise the child as our own.

Someone who is said to have adopted, told me how she had been drinking medication which had helped her to conceive. I am not sure whether she told this story to protect the child or to protect herself.

People are sometimes loath to adopt, because they do not know who the parents are and what genetics or characteristics the child may inherit.

However, these factors can also be a concern with your own children. Speaking to a friend about the issue, she said sometimes our parents would discourage us to marry someone, but fail to give reasons. Later on our children end up in prison, because they “inherited” that from the spouse’s family.

I believe that you can teach a child good moral values.

There are characteristics that they may inherit from their parents. However, a child’s integrity, values and ability to discern what is right and wrong is taught.

I have stayed with other people’s children for as long as I can remember. During my days as a student, I stayed in a university room, sleeping on a single bed with my niece.

When I stayed in a bachelor’s flat, I stayed with different children of different ages – from a primary school child to a university student.

After I got a house, one or more children have been staying with me each year.

I have learnt that a child will listen to you and respect you even if you are strict. However, there are those who have their own minds and are stubborn. These will undermine your rules. It does not matter what their parents’ values are or what they were taught at home.

Sometimes, when a child is older, they want to know their roots and why they were adopted. Did their parents not love them?

I think it boils down to an identity journey which each teenager undertakes. You may still love your adoptive parents, but you want to know your real parents.

Having been in loco parentis for more than 30 years, I know that you can adopt and have the joys of ­parenting. You can instil your good values in the child, especially from an early age.

) Express welcomes anyone interested in contributing to the weekly column. There is no payment for writers. Send your opinion piece (not exceeding 500 words in Sotho or English) via email to boipelo.mere@­ Writers are welcome to send spiritual articles.

Join the conversation! encourages commentary submitted via MyNews24. Contributions of 200 words or more will be considered for publication.

We reserve editorial discretion to decide what will be published.
Read our comments policy for guidelines on contributions.

Inside News24

Competition regulation for a growing and inclusive economy

ADVERTORIAL: The Competition Commission of South Africa is conducting advocacy work in the South African automotive aftermarket industry and has gazetted a Draft Code of Conduct for public comment.


Man scores date with tennis superstar after Twitter bet

It’s a modern day Cinderella story, but one American man took ‘shoot your shot’ seriously in 2017.


You won't want to miss...

6 myths about male cancer
Who are the highest paid models of 2017?
10 gorgeous plus-sized models who aren't Ashley Graham
5 top leg exercises for men
Traffic Alerts
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.


Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.

Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire network.


Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.

Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.