Best of lexophiles

2015-10-21 06:00

FOR anyone with a love of words lexophiles are an interesting challenge.

Two examples - “you can tune a piano, but can’t tuna fish” or “to write with a broken pencil is pointless”.

An annual competition is held for the best lexophiles – this year’s winner was: “Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.”

Also making it to the finals­:

• When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

• A thief who stole a calendar got 12 months.

• When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

• The batteries were given out free of charge.

• A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

• A will is a dead give-away.

• With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

• A boiled egg is hard to beat.

• When you’ve seen one shopping centre you’ve seen a mall.

• Police were summoned to a day-care centre where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

• Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

• A bicycle can’t stand alone - it’s just two tired.

• When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

• The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

• He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

• When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she’d dye.

• Acupuncture is a jab well done. That’s the point of it

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