Last year and this year's resolutions

2017-01-18 06:02
PHOTO: supplied Instead of preparing ambitious New Year’s resolutions like we did last year, let’s aim a little lower.

PHOTO: supplied Instead of preparing ambitious New Year’s resolutions like we did last year, let’s aim a little lower.

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LAST year was a helluva year. Sure, it started out hopeful, but then it all fell apart. Let’s not get caught by surprise again. Instead of preparing ambitious New Year’s resolutions like we did last year, let’s aim a little lower.

2016: Declutter your home. Really get organised and start the year off right.

2017: Buy a new shower curtain. Stop wondering if there’s a difference between black mould and just very, dark mould.

2016: Spend less time on Twitter.

2017: Spend less time on Twitter than Donald Trump does.

2016: Stop smoking more.

2017: Start smoking completely.

2016: Learn a foreign language.

2017: Delete the Duolingo app from your phone.

2016: Travel more.

2017: Travel to parts of South Africa you’ve never been to.

2016: Spend more time with family.

2017: Mute all of your family members on Facebook so that you can still tolerate spending time with them.

2016: Drink less alcohol.

2017: Drink better alcohol.

2016: Save money.

2017: Drink better alcohol.

2016: Start exercising and eating right. Lose some weight.

2017: Stop standing in front of your open refrigerator eating cheese. Maybe put it on a plate and shut the door.

2016: Elect the first woman president and help South Africa enter a new era of excellence and social liberation.

2017: Buy a new shower curtain.

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