Grieving father, now an author and motivational speaker

2017-11-15 06:00
Thulani Gumede (left) and his wife Nompilo Gumede.PHOTO: supplied

Thulani Gumede (left) and his wife Nompilo Gumede.PHOTO: supplied

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AFTER losing his six-month-old son Nqaba in 2014,
Thulani Gumede from Lincoln Meade decided to write a book about his pain and is now a motivational speaker.

Gumede’s first book, Nqaba Grief and Hope, which tells about losing a loved one, was published in 2015. Then he published his second book, Lovers and Mirrors, which talks about marriage, this year.

Speaking to Maritzburg Fever, Gumede said when he decided to write his first book he wanted to grieve and speak about the pain, not knowing that one day he would become a motivational speaker.

“I have always loved writing. I used to write poems and stories. When I lost my child I decided to speak out by writing a book.

“In most cases we [men] do not want to speak about the pain we are feeling. We want to stay strong for our families and wives, but that affects us in the long run and we end up making a lot of mistakes.

“When I lost my child I used to hide the pain I was feeling by working, but that caught up with me and I couldn’t cope at work.

“I had to stop and stay at home for a month due to depression.

“I wanted to use my book to comfort and give hope to others who have lost loved ones.

“I want them to know they are not alone. I also want them to know it is important to speak to someone if they are grieving.”

Gumede said he is honoured to get invited to events and speak and motivate grieving people.

“I was recently invited by Hope to motivate parents who are grieving the loss of their children.

“I was honoured to be able to share my story with people who are in the same situation.”

He said when writing the books he had to reopen old wounds.

“I had to think about everything that happened to my child, every moment of it, until the doctors told us he is no more and we could go and see him.

“Sometimes when someone is grieving we feel there is so much we need to say, but sometimes we just need to sit next to that person and not say anything.

“People grieve differently and I hope this book and my motivation will continue helping people.”

He said with Lovers and
Mirrors
he noticed that many people enter marriage with expectations not knowing there are challenges.

“Most people don’t speak about the challenges they face in their marriage.

“In my book people will get to know how to deal with
challenges in marriage, besides leaving.

“Some people marry those they know have problems, but they marry them anyway hoping they will change after marriage, but that is not the case.

“You have to deal with your problems accordingly.”

Gumede is planning to publish two more books next year.

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