Punishing gross incompetence

2019-12-18 06:01

I WISH I could think of doing something sufficiently incompetent so that I could be put on precautionary suspension, but with full pay. The mind boggles but I just can’t think of anything wicked enough.

It’s true, I did drop a much-favoured plate while washing the dishes some time back and that, to my delight, meant a ban was put in place forbidding me from even putting a foot in at the kitchen sink. Initially, of course, I took fright, thinking there’d be nothing on the dinner plate too, but no, it’s suspension with full access to all meals.

There has been no suspension of benefits.

Now, strangely, I miss washing the odd dish and have to wait for the boss to go out so that I can sneak in and clean up.

Truth is that it was gross incompetence, and I should have been fired instantly, I suppose.

I was half expecting to receive a letter about divorce proceedings, but no, I’ve been allowed to stay on the gravy train for the present, praise be to God. I wonder how long it will last.

The only real negative that I’ve experienced is more pressure to clean up the dog mess daily; no small task with four dogs, and mow the grass weekly.

It’s a heavy price to pay for dropping one plate.

Secretly, of course, I’m smiling as it’s now two years and the suspension is still in force, and full benefits remain intact.

I suppose Thabang Moroe is having similar worries after being suspended as CEO by Cricket South Africa.

But truly he has bigger worries; his gross incompetence was so bad that Standard Bank has dropped its sponsorship of CSA, and that means that his salary, while he sits at home watching our national team getting a drubbing from the colonialists, is going to be dependent on a bail out from the Department of Sport.

Treasury is going to have to decide whether to keep his precautionary suspension in place for the minimum prescribed period of two to three years, or to build toilets at those schools that do not have one single flush loo.

South Africa is certainly going to be ruing the day the Balmy Army brought that loathsome sport to Africa, along with small pox and hygienic toilet facilities.

There’s another thing. Those damned colonialists have the strange idea that gross incompetence means you should be immediately fired; there’s no ubuntu in that. I mean, what would your wife and children eat? And the Merc would have to go.

BARRIE LEWIS

KZN

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