The resurrection of Elliot

2019-03-13 06:01

TRY as I might, I cannot understand the furore that has erupted over the recent miraculous resurrection of dear Elliot.

For heaven’s sake! The resurrection took place in the Incredible Happenings Church! What else could anyone expect?

What does surprise me, though, is some of the reactions that have flowed from this remarkable event.

Firstly, News24 reported about “what was apparently staged to be a miraculous event’’.

So the conclusion that I draw from this is that News24 is not yet certain about the veracity of what happened, and that there certainly remains room for doubt.

Its report goes on to say, and I quote again: “South Africans are expressing deep disbelief over the supposed resurrection of a man — which appears to be a bad (sic) rehearsed act.’’

So it is “disbelief’’, not incredulity, that South Africans feel, and had it been a woman, it would presumably have had more credibility?

The Sowetan then reports with confidence (misplaced, dare I say) that the venerable priest’s church had “claimed’’ that the “dead’’ man was “already alive’’ when he arrived on the premises. So the clear insinuation, then, is that a resurrection had indeed taken place, it is just the venue where the miracle occurred that is still in doubt.

I do, however, find enormous comfort in the statement by the Commission for the Promotion and Protection of the Rights of Cultural, Religious and Linguistic Communities, which said, and I quote: “We’re going in with a clear mind that maybe it is real that this man was in a mortuary somewhere (sic).’’

It is a big relief to know that this veritable institution would not want to jump to hasty conclusions on a matter of such gravity.

But it is the funeral parlours which take the cake. They claim to have been “duped’’ into taking part in the events that unfolded.

The fact that dear resurrected Elliot was breathing rather heavily during the whole episode, appears to have passed scrutiny by the workers who plonked him into the coffin in the first place.

To their eternal credit, they insist that “misrepresentations to suit a particular outcome’’ were “unknown’’ to them, otherwise they would presumably have wisened up to the suspiciously breathing Elliot.

They go on to say that their “reputations’’ as service providers have been “adversely affected’’ by this unwelcome turn of events, which may indeed have some merit.

To their credit, once again, they do go on to apologise for the “inconvenience’’ the incident may have caused, so all is forgiven, and they have assured the public that they are working hard to “restore their image’’.

This may well have been their first corpse, so let us not pre-judge them.

Finally, spare a thought for poor resurrected Elliot: snatched from eternal bliss, and within touching distance of the promised land, and in front of a live audience, and then witnessed by 50 million TV viewers.




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