Reasoning and Vocabulary

2018-11-29 06:02

Dear Editor

The following incidents may add some humour to your day:

1. A dismissed minister, “given his marching orders” by the president, refuses to leave. Does this situation prevail in other countries?

2. Why is SAA, officially launched in 1952, unable to finance its airline? Thirty African countries are financing their own airlines, including the Ivory Coast (the size of 332 463 km; whilst South Africa’s size is 1,22 million km-squared).

3. A pensioner, subsisting on a static, low pension, selects 1 kg of apples from a shelf, which advertises two packets for R25. The cashier charges her R20. She explains to the manager, that the payment of R20 for 1 kg would entail an expense of R40 for 2 kg — unaffordable. “Prices are fixed by head office,” states the manager, apparently unable to calculate the ridiculously high price.

4. Another store offers three packets of fruit for R50. The customer selects one packet and is charged R50. The employees explain that, whether a client purchases one, two or three packets “the price remains fixed at R50”.

5. A 1 kg packet of biscuits is advertised for R16. The 3 kg packet costs R54.

6. A vehicle with an electrical/battery problem underwent repairs in a workshop servicing expensive car models. Although the customer was billed for R500, the problem was a loose battery connection. The employee explained that complicated electrical tests are conducted prior to the simple tests. “This is the system.”

7. When police members receive a complaint of “breakers on premises”, the patrol vehicle endeavours to respond speedily to ensure the safety of the victims and to apprehend the housebreakers. Being short in stature, as I am unable to lever myself over the high, prefabricated walls, I clambered over the gate, avoiding the perforating spikes. On one occasion, whilst the members were battling to hoist themselves over the wall, chorused by groans and gasps, I walked around the corner of the house. Eureka, I strolled through the open gate to await the arrival of the exhausted members, who demanded balefully, “How did you get in?”

8. Arriving at a house of suspected drug dealers, male members struggled over the wire fence, which was bending with their heavy mass, yet … the gate was ajar.

9. When voicing a complaint to an Ugu Manageress about the continuous lack of water, reminding her of the daily, heavy rainfall, she answered: “We don’t get our water from the rain. We get it from the rivers.”

10. A media broadcast:

a. “The minister ventilated her views” — ventilate, not aired?

b. “The public consumed the news” — consumed, not used?

c. “He was dedicated to perform the service” — dedicated, not designated?

d. Thames pronounced as “th in thick” and “ames in dames”

Yours faithfully

Dr L. J. Peltz

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