The canny Scots

2017-04-13 06:02

MY personal Scottish forebears invaded Natal in about 1800 and colonised Natal, calling it John Ross land.

After all, the Romans had threatened to colonise dear Caledonia some 2 000 years ago, so colonising was the way to go.

The English, being stupid, thought that by painting themselves blue they’d have the measure of Caesar.

Unfortunately for them, the rains came, revealing their lily-white nature, so the Romans leapt back off their caravels and built Roman baths, kept full by aqueducts, all over England.

This was enough to scare any Brit of the time, and something to give the Scots goose pimples. Bathing? Yikes.

The Scots took the initiative and threatening to invade­ Roman England, forced the Romans to build walls to keep them out, at their own cost, Donald Trump may be interested to learn.

The canny Scots laughed in their red beards because these walls also helped keep both the Sassenachs and the Romans from Scotland.

Still, Roman influence was eventually felt in Scotland, namely as the famous song Roman in the Gloaming.

M. HAWTHORN

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