Things to know before you say ‘I do’

2018-02-22 06:00
PHOTO: sourcedClinical psychologist and psychometrics expert Dr Cathrin Venter.

PHOTO: sourcedClinical psychologist and psychometrics expert Dr Cathrin Venter.

Multimedia   ·   User Galleries   ·   News in Pictures Send us your pictures  ·  Send us your stories

IT is the month of love and as many got to be pampered in celebration of their love yesterday on Valentine’s Day, local psychologist Dr Cathrin Venter offers a few pointers for all those inspired to tie the knot this month.

From her experience with patients, Dr Venter said the three paramount values necessary for all marriages to work are trust and honesty, consistent hard work and addressing conflicts as they arise.

“In order for a person to truly feel safe with someone, you have to be able to trust the person. However, that person must be trustworthy.

“Also, don’t sweep issues under the carpet, they have a nasty way of resurfacing and will gain momentum every time they are ignored,” said Venter.

She said many marriages have broken down because the couples never discussed what their needs and expectations were before going into the marriage. “Not discussing each other’s core values and needs before marriage can lead to unsurmountable conflict. For an example, do both of us want children, where do we want to live and work, how do we see our extended families in relation to our relationship, and what about differences in religion, culture and individual perceptions of life? These issues need to be raised before a marriage,” said Venter, adding that finances and how they will be managed is another important factor.

Marriage changes people’s lives in many ways, she said, and in the modern age a major challenge for young couples is adapting to a married life and having to make a few changes to their lifestyle.

“One or both partners may still want to live the life of a bachelor or bachelorette, going out with friends at all hours of the night, leaving their partner to take on the burden of all the responsibilities, while they have fun outside of their relationship. These are some of the challenges. And alcohol and substance abuse is often part of this scenario and adds to the complexities of this type of relationship.”

“Saying ‘I do’ is just the beginning of a marriage. A marriage needs consistent work and focus. Complacency can be detrimental to any relationship,” said Venter.

Join the conversation!

24.com encourages commentary submitted via MyNews24. Contributions of 200 words or more will be considered for publication.

We reserve editorial discretion to decide what will be published.
Read our comments policy for guidelines on contributions.
NEXT ON NEWS24X

Inside News24

 
/News
Traffic Alerts
Traffic
There are new stories on the homepage. Click here to see them.
 
English
Afrikaans
isiZulu

Hello 

Create Profile

Creating your profile will enable you to submit photos and stories to get published on News24.


Please provide a username for your profile page:

This username must be unique, cannot be edited and will be used in the URL to your profile page across the entire 24.com network.

Settings

Location Settings

News24 allows you to edit the display of certain components based on a location. If you wish to personalise the page based on your preferences, please select a location for each component and click "Submit" in order for the changes to take affect.




Facebook Sign-In

Hi News addict,

Join the News24 Community to be involved in breaking the news.

Log in with Facebook to comment and personalise news, weather and listings.