Judge takes pity on man who killed mom

2012-11-20 08:40

Durban - A Durban judge took pity on a man who murdered his mother, saying that the court had heard a “very tragic story” of an abused son and a family who ignored his cries for help.

The 33-year-old man was sentenced to 12 years in prison for stabbing his mother with a screwdriver, reported the Daily News.

The KwaZulu-Natal High Court heard how the man, who was not named as he was a victim of sexual abuse, had been repeatedly molested and raped by a family friend and soccer coach and how his family refused to support him after he told them of the abuse.

The man who had raped him was later sent to prison for molesting another child.

His own marriage fell apart and after telling his wife of the abuse she had sometimes called him a “moffie”.

He started seeing the coach again in 2010 and was using drugs and drinking. Before his mother’s death, she had asked her son to ask the coach to find work for his father but he refused.

On the day of the murder he had an argument with his mother after he had been drinking and confronted her about why she had never helped him following the abuse to which she said: “Why doesn’t [the coach] make you his wife.”

He picked up a screwdriver and stabbed her and said he was filled with regret about what he had done.

“I was wrong. No amount of time in jail will erase what I’ve done,” he said. “I miss my mom a lot. I feel like a monster for what I’ve done.”

  • squeegee.pilot - 2012-11-20 08:49

    What a messed up family...Tragic.

      lownabester - 2012-11-20 09:10

      For a mother to ask "Why did the coach not make you his wife" Its beyond words. Glad you had a judge with heart.

  • valkerie.koekemoer - 2012-11-20 08:56

    Tragic and so sad...

  • kenpeg.dawson - 2012-11-20 08:57

    Sad sad story, to hold back those feelings for so long and be reminded continually. No wonder he snapped.

      sarah.bouttell - 2012-11-20 09:14

      and to constantly be pushed towards his abuser by his mother - the torment! No happy ending for this young man.

  • Elisha - 2012-11-20 08:58

    God, forgive this man, and his mom.

  • repline.rasbanda - 2012-11-20 08:58

    To tell the truth, if I was the judge, I would also have taken pity.

  • andrew.arnesen - 2012-11-20 09:00

    So sad that the obvious victim has, due to failures of the system and the nature of this type of abuse, taken the fall. His mother should also be in jail for neglect and child-abuse...

  • amanda.terblans - 2012-11-20 09:02

    poor man he should not be in jail but receiving psychological help , give his cell to a rapist or thief .

  • michael.lockett.714 - 2012-11-20 09:10

    I don't understand how this guy gets the same sentence as the mother who stabbed four of her children to death and drowned the fifth.

      squeegee.pilot - 2012-11-20 09:11

      Great comment. Sometimes this stuff just does not make sense.

      sarah.bouttell - 2012-11-20 09:16

      We very seldom hear the full story - we do not get all the aggravating or mitigating factors, and we are left bewildered, because on the face of it, many of the crimes seem similar. Were we actually in the court room, and privy to the entire story, I don't doubt, that a lot of us would express more reasonable opinions on this site.

      Ntshobs - 2012-11-20 09:28

      Its always confusing how these judges arrive to these conclusions, remember a chinese rhino poacher got 40yrs, but South Africans on the same case were acquitted & you know what the same is going to happen on Dewani case, her husband will be acquitted.

  • Katoolsie - 2012-11-20 09:19

    I feel sorry for this guy. Hope the 12 years go by in a flash.

  • shirley.steenkamp - 2012-11-20 09:38

    A good decision. However,this man basically has no future-barring a miracle. He has so much psycologial damage! What a tragic waste of a human life. What an evil horrible mother!

  • Cayowin - 2012-11-20 09:38

    Why is it that the only person not currently either dead or in jail is the coach?

  • mshiniboys - 2012-11-20 09:40

    But why did he not stab the coach and the other man who had raped him instead of this poor woman.I dont pity him sorry...he planned this crap but failed to be man enough and plan it for the people who have wronged him.I could kill someone who even tries to molest me but I would never do that to my mother and I should be able to stand my enemies at age 33 without getting women involved...oh please.

      anthea.lagrange - 2012-11-20 10:23

      Your mother is the one person you should be able to count on, to be on your side. How could she possibly take the molester's side? Ef anybody ever even looks funny at one of my kids, they had better start running.

      anthea.lagrange - 2012-11-20 14:51

      He was still a child when he was abused. His family never believed him and he grew up to be a drinker and drug addict. Instead of supporting him, his family taunted him about it. It sent him into a rage one night when he was drunk and he killed his mother.Short version. I don't believe your culture would allow parents to not support their kids when they have psychological damage from childhood abuse.

      mshiniboys - 2012-11-20 16:14

      Athena I do not condone relatives molesting children first of all.Instead of going around drinking and smoking drugs people should start by paying for professional help.Drugs cost more than a psychologist or someone who can help you put you life together at 33.You cant force people to sympathize with you even your parents.Besides, I am of the opinion that this was one of his stunts to get off the hook.I mean the part where he plays mister remorseful.He was under drug influence and he had contemplated to murder this poor woman whom he still owes his life for not deciding to terminate the fetus before he could even grow enough to start thinking about killing her.May her soul rest in peace.we all went through some kind of abuse and we have left that behind and moved on with our lives, maybe because we decided to face life without taking substances.He could have used his bare hands if he wanted to discipline her.The aim here was murder and nothing less or more.

  • jacqui.daanevanrensburg - 2012-11-20 11:11

    How tragic.

  • Montagnes.Bleues - 2012-11-20 14:15

    Difficult to believe a word of this story! Just seemingly is full of empty lines that cannot be corroborated by a 'dead' mother, and a judge who might quite easily have been taken in by a seeming charmer in similar manner to how SA was taken in by the populist zuma - another matter with no substance!

  • dominic.s.hans - 2012-11-28 15:59

    This is sinister but they should have helped the poor man,now she's gone and he's imprisoned left with regrets!

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